Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear susie,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my interst in family support department in our company to further develop my professional skills and career.

I have been working as an Early childhood educator for past two years. This postion helped me to gain valueable experience in communication, problem solving and patience.working directly with children and families helped me to understand the real world problems and their solutions.These skills helped me to become more confident and productive in my role.

I belive that moving to family support department can be a win win sitution for myself and the company. I could apply my existing knowldge for families' needs.Having observe new parents struggling to understand their childrens' needs, I believe I could orgnise training sessions and other support programmes for them. which can invite more families to enroll in our program and gave boom to our campany.

I would prefer to remain in the company, as I appriacate the environment and polies for employees. The support and appriecation we always get while working.

please consider my request. I would welcome the opportuntiy to didcuss this transfer with you.

yours sincerely,

Simarnjeet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all three points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe skills gained as an early childhood educator, propose applying them in family support, and explain that you value the company’s environment and employee policies. The suggestion to organise training and support programmes gives the transfer a practical benefit, while the possibility of attracting more families adds support to your case. The reason for staying is relevant, though “the support and appreciation we always get” is not fully developed into a complete explanation of why this company matters to you. To strengthen the letter further, explain more specifically how your experience would help the department or company, and expand briefly on what you value about remaining there.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall progression: it introduces the request, describes your current experience, explains the proposed benefit, and closes with your reason for staying and a request to discuss the transfer. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and links such as “I believe” and “as” make the relationships between ideas understandable. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some of the clearer progression associated with the next level. However, cohesion is occasionally weakened by abrupt or incomplete transitions, particularly “which can invite more families…” and the fragment “The support and appreciation we always get while working.” Use complete sentences and connect each supporting detail explicitly to the main point to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “professional skills,” “problem solving,” “family support department,” and “training sessions.” These choices make your purpose and proposed contribution understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “interst,” “valueable,” “knowldge,” and “appriecate.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “gave boom to our campany” does not clearly express the intended business benefit, and “a win win sitution” is informal for a letter to a manager. Aim for accurate spelling and more natural professional collocations, such as describing how your work could “increase enrolment” or “support families effectively.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex structures, including “I am writing to express…” and the conditional “I could apply my existing knowledge…”. The main message remains understandable, but errors in sentence formation and punctuation are frequent enough to limit control. For example, “working directly with children and families helped…” runs into the previous sentence without a space, while “which can invite more families…” is a dependent clause presented as a sentence. “The support and appreciation we always get while working” is also incomplete, and “I would welcome the opportunity to didcuss this transfer” contains an incorrect verb form. Practise checking that each sentence has a complete main clause, and review tense, articles, and punctuation when joining ideas.

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