Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I am writing this letter because i want to upscale to upper level as im doing the office adminstration job for last two years.I have learned alot about custimer service,day to day Task,Managing Appointmnent and many more things related to office work.It will benefit for our company as i have enough knowledge how the things work in our office and it will save time and money if you hire a guys who do all the stuff on daily basis.I am very much interested for the manager position that is recently opened in sales department and i would love to make our company grow in that area.As i know we have less sales last year and didnot touch the target we want.I do not want to leave the company and want to grow in the company as i love the working environment of the company is very nice and Good.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the three main points: you describe learning office-related duties, propose moving to the sales department, and explain that you want to remain because you value the company’s working environment. The specific reference to missed sales targets gives a relevant reason for your proposed move. However, the benefits to the company are not fully explained: “it will save time and money” is unclear, and the letter does not show how your experience would help improve sales. The reason for staying is also brief. The response is one word below the required minimum, so ensure you meet the stated length and develop these points with a little more detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The ideas are relevant and follow a broadly sensible order, moving from your experience to the proposed transfer and then your wish to stay. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, so the reader has little visual guidance between these points. Connections between ideas are also limited; for example, the claim that your move would “save time and money” is followed by the manager vacancy without explaining the link. Use separate paragraphs for your experience, the company’s benefit, and your reasons for staying, and add clear transitions such as “In addition” or “For this reason.” This would create a clearer progression rather than a sequence of closely packed statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough relevant vocabulary to communicate the general purpose, including “office administration,” “customer service,” “sales department,” and “target.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the letter difficult to interpret. For instance, “upscale to upper level” does not naturally express career progression, and “hire a guys who do all the stuff” is unclear and too informal for a letter to a manager. Spelling errors such as “adminstration,” “custimer,” and “Appointmnent” are also noticeable. Aim for precise, professional expressions and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response relies mainly on simple statements joined together, with limited variety in sentence structures. Some longer sentences are attempted, but they contain errors that can make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “I have enough knowledge how the things work” is missing a grammatical link, while “I do not want to leave the company and want to grow” needs a clearer parallel structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly in the opening and in the long sequence of ideas. Practise forming accurate complex sentences with “because,” “which,” and “so that,” and use full stops to separate complete ideas. These changes would improve control and readability.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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