Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this to request you for my referal from sales department to an accounting department .

I have been working in this company since 2024 and I am very devoted and hard working member. I have been working in sales department for last 2 years.Being a new bie, I have learned alot from my superiors. Everybody from my present department me took me under their shadows from the first day of joining.

Furthermore, I believe now that i have learnt all the tactics and skills of sales and management, I should come out of this bubble and need to learn some valuble accounting details as well. I have recently cleared my chattered accountant exams therefore I assure that the company will not be disappointed with my work.

On the other hand, I came to this company when I had nothing. I have got wonderful friend and an amazning supervisors. I have no intentions of leaving this compnay as I am very fond of it.

Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Mahnoor Maryam

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your purpose clear: you request a move from sales to accounting, describe learning from your supervisors, and explain that you value the company and do not want to leave. The reference to passing your chartered-accountant exams also gives a relevant reason for the transfer and suggests how you could contribute. However, some points are less fully developed than others. For example, you say you have learned sales and management skills, but do not give a specific example of how these skills would benefit the accounting department or the company. The reason for staying is warm but general; explaining what you value about the company in more concrete terms would make the letter more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall sequence: you state your request, describe your current experience, explain your suitability for accounting, and finish with your reasons for staying and a polite closing. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and linking phrases such as “Furthermore” and “On the other hand” guide the reader. Some connections are less natural or precise, however. “On the other hand” suggests a contrast that is not clearly established, while the transition from your sales experience to your exam qualification could be smoother. The sentence about colleagues taking you “under their shadows” also makes the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. More direct transitions and clearer references would make the progression more consistently easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the request, including “devoted,” “tactics,” “superiors,” and “consideration,” and the reader can understand your main message. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “referal,” “new bie,” “valuble,” “chattered accountant,” and “amazning.” Some expressions are also unnatural in this context: “request you for my referral” and “under their shadows” do not convey the intended meaning idiomatically. Aim for accurate, conventional workplace language, such as “request a transfer,” “colleagues supported me,” and “qualified accountant.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would make your vocabulary more reliable and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more developed sentence forms, including the reason clause in “I have no intentions of leaving this company as I am very fond of it” and the result clause beginning “therefore.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and polish. For example, “I have been working in sales department for last 2 years” needs articles and a more complete time expression, while “Everybody from my present department me took me” has an unclear sentence structure. Capitalisation and spacing are also inconsistent, as in “i” and the missing space after “years.” Review articles, sentence construction, and punctuation, then check each sentence aloud to ensure its parts fit together clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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