Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am concerned about moving to a different department.

I have learned many things in my present job while doing work in a Orthopaedic and the Neuro department. I learned handling the critical cases related to neuro cases such as stroke and parkinson. It also helps in confidence and also improve communication skills.

I believe work will not affected during my absence. I will arrange online meeting with patients who wants my treatment and protocol. I can also prescribe them various exercises and make videos for them. They can book appointment according to timing.

I do not want to leave the company. I want to gain an experience in sports department also. I believe you will advice me and help me to get through this. Whatever decision is right for me please guide me.

I hope you will understand me. I forward look to your response.

Thank you,

Yours faithfully,

Rajandeep Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the main situation and give relevant information about your experience in Orthopaedic and Neuro departments, including handling serious cases and developing communication skills. You also explain that you want to remain with the company and gain experience in the sports department. However, the purpose of the letter is not stated clearly: “I am concerned about moving” sounds hesitant rather than requesting a transfer for career development. The proposed benefit to the company is also unclear; saying work “will not affected” and describing online patient appointments does not explain how your move would help the new department or the company. Develop this point and make your request and reasons explicit to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable structure, with separate paragraphs for your current experience, the proposed arrangement, and your wish to stay. This helps the reader identify the main topics. However, the progression between ideas is not always clear. For example, “I believe work will not affected during my absence” is followed by online meetings and exercise videos, but the connection between these arrangements and a transfer to another department is difficult to follow. The closing also repeats the request for guidance without clearly summarising what you are asking your manager to do. Use clearer links between your experience, the transfer proposal, and its benefit to the company, and organise each paragraph around one developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant workplace and healthcare vocabulary, including “critical cases,” “communication skills,” “sports department,” and “prescribe.” These terms help convey your professional background and intended move. However, the range is somewhat limited, and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “doing work in a Orthopaedic,” “gain an experience,” and “get through this.” The repeated use of “I believe” and “I want” also makes the wording less varied. Aim for more precise expressions suited to a formal request, such as describing the skills you have developed and the contribution you could make in the new department. Check collocations and article use in phrases involving professional experience and departments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms occur in several places. For example, “work will not affected” needs a passive form, while “patients who wants” has a subject–verb agreement error. “It also helps in confidence and also improve communication skills” contains an unclear subject and inconsistent verb forms. There are also problems with articles and sentence phrasing, as in “in a Orthopaedic.” These errors sometimes make the intended relationships harder to follow. Practise accurate passive constructions, agreement in relative clauses, and parallel verb forms, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and complete verb.

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