Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Saim,

I hope you are doing well, I am writing this letter about to discuss my job to move to a different department in the same company. Here, i have been worked as manager last two years. I am very happy about my present job , but now i feel it is important for my career development to change my position in the same company .I have enough experience about my present job , now you hire as senior manager possition.If you have provide me a chance to inhance my skill , I really try to give the best.It is eassy to prove my skill . This is because all staff member and work managment already understand, So i confidently to achieves my goals. This is very important and useful for to me and company .I hope you would aprove my request and give me a chance to prove my skill.Once again really thanked for you good response.

Kind regards ,

Zahida

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You make the central request clear: you want to move to another department while remaining in the company, and you mention your two years as a manager. However, the task’s three points are not all adequately addressed. You refer generally to experience in your present job, but do not explain what you have learned; the proposed benefit to the company is also unclear, with “all staff member and work managment already understand” not showing how your transfer would help the organisation. Your reason for staying is largely missing. The letter therefore responds only minimally to important parts of the task. Develop each point with specific details, such as skills gained, how they would be useful in the new department, and why you value this company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter has a recognisable format, with a greeting, a request, and a closing, and the ideas generally relate to seeking a transfer. However, most of the content is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader has little help distinguishing your experience, the company’s benefit, and your reason for staying. Connections between ideas are also unclear: “This is because all staff member…” does not clearly explain the preceding claim, while “Once again” introduces no clear repetition or conclusion. Use separate paragraphs for your background, the proposed transfer and its benefits, and your commitment to the company. Clear linking phrases such as “In my current role…” and “This would benefit the company because…” would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to a workplace request, including “career development,” “experience,” “senior manager,” and “prove my skill,” so the general topic is understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “hire as senior manager” does not clearly express a request for a transfer or promotion, and “work managment” is unclear in context. Spelling errors such as “possition,” “inhance,” and “aprove” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise workplace phrases, such as “transfer to the [department] team,” “apply my existing skills,” and “contribute to the company’s goals,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including “This is because…” and “If you have provide me a chance…,” but the longer structures are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction occur frequently: “I have been worked” should be “I have worked,” and “If you have provide me” needs a correctly formed conditional, such as “If you give me the opportunity, I will…”. The opening also joins two complete ideas with a comma: “I hope you are doing well, I am writing…”. There are further problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “all staff member” and the inconsistent spacing around full stops. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then build longer sentences using controlled conditionals and clear punctuation.

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