Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir,

I am one of your employee in your company. I am doing indoor work in your company as a manager .but i am interisting in sales department. I am writing this letter to you please move me on sale department. Which is very helpful for my future and your company also

I am doing work from last two year in your company as a manager becouse of this is a indoor work i dont have chance to get a incentive which help me for my monthaly expansive and i dont have any promotion which makes me demotivated . I am intrested in sales department .becouse I do part time work in a boang technology private limited company as a sales exucative .so that i have a good experience in sales

I don't wan't to leave your company becouse after ecdemic this is my first company were i do job i learnt so many things from your company .i will ask you if you give me a chance to prof my self and get job in sales department .this is very helpful for increasing monthaly sales and you earn more profit .and its also helpful for me doing lovable job and get a chance to earn more income

I am waiting dor your promt and warm respose .

I hope you give me this responsibiulty

Your faithfully

Alok partap

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You make a relevant request to move to the sales department and give reasons for wanting to remain with the company, including that it was your first job and that you have learned a lot there. You also mention potential benefits, such as increasing sales and profit. However, the task asks what you learned in your current job, and this point is only stated generally rather than illustrated with specific skills or responsibilities. The benefit to the company is also asserted rather than explained in detail. Your position is understandable, but the reasons are limited and some details—such as the incentive and promotion concerns—do not clearly support the requested transfer. Develop each bullet point more directly and keep the tone focused on a professional request.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable opening, body and closing, and the reader can follow its main purpose: you want to transfer to sales while staying with the company. However, ideas are not consistently grouped or sequenced. For example, the request appears in the opening, then the second paragraph moves between your current role, incentives, promotion and sales experience. The final paragraph combines your reasons for staying, your request, and the company’s potential profit. Linking phrases such as “because” are repeated, and some sentence boundaries are unclear, making the progression feel uneven. Organise the letter into clear paragraphs for your current experience, the company’s benefit, and your wish to stay, using transitions that show how each point connects.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sales department,” “experience,” “promotion,” “responsibility” and “profit,” so the main topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “monthaly expansive,” “sales exucative,” “demotivated” in this context, and “lovable job.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “move me on sale department” and “earn more income.” These issues fit a limited but minimally adequate vocabulary range: the reader can usually infer your meaning, but errors sometimes cause difficulty. Build accuracy with common workplace collocations and check spelling; for example, use “transfer me to the sales department” and “monthly expenses.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to communicate several connected ideas, including reasons and consequences, but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts to join clauses are often faulty. Examples include “I am one of your employee in your company” and “I am doing work from last two year,” where agreement, tense and article use are inaccurate. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “I am doing indoor work … as a manager .but i am interisting…” These frequent errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the relationships between ideas. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, especially present perfect forms for experience (“I have worked here for two years”), then use a few controlled complex sentences with “because” or “which.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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