Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam, I haved joined this depatment two years ago on the bases of my minor qualification at time when company needed to fill this vacancy on urgent base.I thouroughly enjoyed working in this position and have learnt a lot of experience.I think this valuabie knowledge that I have gained will bebefits me in future endeavours. As, I have discussed above that this oppointment was on my minor qualification (finance) base, but my major qualification is in marketing.Therefore, now want to be tranfered in that department as there is need of marketing manager in that field, I believe that it will be more beneficial fo me and as well for the organization.It will also provide me mental satisfaction that is very essential to excell in every task I do in this company. I, also, don't want to leave this company due to its flexible working environment and other lot fo facilities provided to me. I hope positive respose from kind authorities of this company. Yours sincerele, Javed Iqbal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three required points: you describe learning in your current role, request a move to marketing, and explain that you value the company’s working environment and facilities. The reason for the transfer is relevant and clear: your major qualification is in marketing, and you mention a need for a marketing manager. However, some points are less fully developed. For example, you say you have gained “a lot of experience” but do not specify skills or achievements that would support your suitability for the new department. Likewise, the benefit to the company is asserted rather than explained in detail. Add one or two concrete examples of how your finance experience and marketing background could help the team.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter follows a generally sensible order: current experience, the transfer request and its rationale, then your wish to remain with the company. This makes the main message understandable. However, the ideas are presented in very long, crowded blocks, with little visual separation, and some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, such as “As, I have discussed above.” The reference to “that field” is also not fully clear. Use separate paragraphs for each main purpose, and connect ideas more directly—for example, explain how your current experience would support your contribution to marketing before stating the company’s benefit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to a formal workplace letter, including “qualification,” “department,” “organization,” and “working environment.” There are also attempts at more formal expressions such as “mental satisfaction” and “future endeavours.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “haved,” “depatment,” “bebefits,” and “respose” are examples. Some phrases are also unnatural, including “gained a lot of experience” after “learnt” and “on urgent base.” Choose more conventional collocations and proofread carefully. A more precise description of your skills and achievements would also help demonstrate a broader, more controlled vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “As I have discussed above” and one linking your qualifications to the transfer request. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “I haved joined” uses an incorrect verb form and tense, while “now want to be transferred” lacks a subject. The sentence beginning “As” is also incomplete as written, and punctuation around sentence boundaries is inconsistent. Use the present perfect accurately for experience continuing from the past, include a clear subject in each clause, and divide long sentences so that each has a complete, well-punctuated structure.

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