Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

dear sir or madam,

i am writing this letter to express my interest to move to software development department as i have worked in data analytics field for for the past 2 years.

firstly , i have gained all the adequate skills which are required to successfully excute in the software development. my current experienece in data analysis has equipped me with fundamentals of the software development.

furthermore, todays world is evolving around Artificial intelligence and our company is one of the top-notch companies in making the best Ai models , my area of expertise in in data analysis will play crucial role in the development of ai software so as to develop our companies reputation across the world

probing further, i remember i have always had a dream to work in this company so keeping that in mind , i had worked so hard to acquire a job in this company ,morever i have made progess in the last few years also have connected with intelligent people working here .i hope you will consider my request

yours thankfully,

taranpreet singh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your purpose clear: you want to move from data analytics to software development, and you explain that your analytical experience could support the company’s AI work. You also give a personal reason for staying, mentioning your long-standing ambition to work for the company and the relationships you have built there. However, the learning from your current role is described only generally as gaining “adequate skills” and “fundamentals”; naming specific skills or achievements would make this point more convincing. The benefit to the company is relevant but broad, and the link between your experience and software development needs clearer explanation. Develop these ideas with concrete examples and a more explicit request to your manager.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable progression: it states the request, discusses your experience and the company’s potential benefit, then explains why you want to remain. Connectors such as “firstly,” “furthermore” and “keeping that in mind” help signal these stages. However, the ideas are crowded into long blocks, and the sequence within the second paragraph is not always easy to follow. For example, the discussion of AI, your expertise and the company’s reputation would be clearer if separated into shorter sentences and grouped around one main point. Some transitions feel mechanical, and the closing request arrives abruptly. Use distinct paragraphs for each task point, clearer references, and a conventional closing sentence to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of workplace and technology vocabulary, including “data analytics,” “software development,” “area of expertise” and “AI models.” These terms make the topic clear, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “top-notch” and “play a crucial role.” Some choices and spelling errors reduce precision, however: “execute in the software development” is not a natural collocation, while “fundamentals of the software development” is awkward. There are also misspellings such as “experienec,” “progess” and “morever,” and “companies reputation” needs a possessive form. Aim for accurate, natural professional phrasing rather than adding ambitious expressions; proofreading spelling and collocations would strengthen this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “as I have worked…” and a longer sentence explaining how your expertise could benefit the company. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems are noticeable. For example, “I have worked … for for the past 2 years” repeats the preposition, and “my area of expertise in in data analysis” repeats “in.” The sentence beginning “probing further” runs several ideas together, with unclear clause boundaries and inconsistent punctuation. Capitalisation of “I” and sentence openings is also inconsistent. Use shorter, controlled sentences, check articles and prepositions, and punctuate each complete idea clearly while retaining some complex structures.

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