Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are having great week.I writing this letter to make request for my transfer in different department in our company.

First of all, I would like to tell you, I have learnt lots of things in the General merchandise department such as audits, customer service, making orders for the inventory and zoning. Moreover, all of these skills helps me a lot to stay focused and to grow and now I would like to learn something new which can help me to succeed in my career.

I am having thought of going in the front service department, by moving me there it can increase the sales of the company as I have great experience of customer service with positive reviews.Overall, it can be productive for both the organisation and to boost my career for the management skills.

Last but not least, I gave two years to the walmart company and learnt new things which was beyond my expectation and now at this I cannot think of going somewhere else but this company.

I hope you will except my transfer and I look forward to hearing a positive response from you.

Thanks,

Yours sincerely

Ria

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe learning audits, customer service, ordering inventory and zoning; propose moving to front service; and explain that you value your two years with the company. The customer-service experience and positive reviews give a relevant reason for the transfer. However, the benefit to the company is not fully explained: “it can increase the sales” is asserted without showing how your skills would help achieve this. Your reason for staying is also less developed than the other points; you could mention specific features of the company or opportunities there. These relevant ideas cover the task, but fuller explanation and support would make the letter more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall structure, with separate paragraphs for your current learning, the proposed transfer, and your wish to remain with the company. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Moreover,” and “Last but not least” help signal the stages of your message. The progression is generally easy to follow, although some linking is mechanical, and “Overall” does not clearly connect the sales benefit to the career benefit. The final paragraph also combines your reason for staying with a broad statement about what you learned. Use more precise links between each claim and its explanation, and ensure each paragraph develops one main point. This would make the organisation feel more natural and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “audits,” “customer service,” “inventory,” “positive reviews,” and “management skills,” so the reader can understand your experience and proposal. There is some attempt to use less common language, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “making orders for the inventory,” “going in the front service department,” and “gave two years to the walmart company.” “Except my transfer” also uses a different word from the one intended. These errors do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for standard professional phrases such as “placing inventory orders,” “transfer to the front-service department,” and “I have worked for the company for two years.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence that explains how your customer-service experience could benefit the company. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “I writing this letter” needs an auxiliary verb, “all of these skills helps” has subject–verb disagreement, and “I have thought of going” requires a more suitable grammatical construction. Articles and prepositions also need attention in “having great week” and “request for my transfer in different department.” Punctuation is sometimes missing after sentence boundaries, as in “week.I” and “reviews.Overall.” Practise checking verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence punctuation; more consistently accurate sentences would strengthen the letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.