Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to you to make a proposal regarding moving to a different department which is important for my career development. Our company "NHCL pvt and Co." organises various conferences involving people from different regions biannually and this has taught me about various methods to improve skills required in the Finance department. It has also provided me several opportunities to explore other departments and helped me develop certain skills such as managing accounts, looking after funds and customer satisfaction. I believe it would be a great decision if I, now work for the department of Customer Care.

I have been working in this company for 2 years and this company has offered me a lot that I could not have asked for. Additionally, I feel quite connected with my colleagues and they have become a family to me, and this company being a second home. Thus, I prefer to work for this company forever.

Hope you would take this note into consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Jenny Marthan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the main purpose and all three requested points: you describe skills gained, propose a move to Customer Care, and explain your wish to remain with the company. The examples of managing accounts and looking after funds are relevant, and your loyalty to colleagues gives a personal reason for staying. However, the benefit to the company is not clearly explained: you mention customer satisfaction, but do not show how your experience would improve service or help the department. The learning point is also somewhat unclear because the link between conferences, Finance skills, and your current role is not fully developed. Explain these connections and support the proposed transfer with a specific business advantage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable structure, moving from the transfer request to your reasons for staying and then to a closing. Linking expressions such as “Additionally” and “Thus” help show relationships between ideas. However, the first paragraph combines several points—company conferences, Finance skills, other departments, and the Customer Care request—so the progression is not always easy to follow. The final paragraph also shifts quickly from your connection with colleagues to the company being a second home. Use clearer paragraphing to separate what you learned, the company’s benefit, and your reasons for staying, and make references such as “this” more precise. This would make the organisation more consistently clear rather than occasionally abrupt.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a formal workplace letter, including “career development,” “proposal,” “managing accounts,” and “customer satisfaction.” These expressions communicate the topic clearly, and the reader can understand your main points. Some choices are less natural or precise, however: “explore other departments” does not clearly explain what you learned, while “work for this company forever” sounds overly absolute for a professional request. “Biannually” may also be ambiguous, as it can mean twice a year or once every two years. Choose more precise workplace language, such as describing relevant experience or a long-term commitment, and use collocations that clearly express the value you could bring to Customer Care.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the longer sentence beginning “Our company … organises various conferences” and the sentence explaining your connection with colleagues. Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions are present. In “it has also provided me several opportunities,” the verb pattern needs “provided me with”; in “if I, now work,” the comma interrupts the clause and the verb form is not correctly integrated. The final sentence of the second paragraph, “and this company being a second home,” is a fragment rather than a complete clause. Review verb patterns, punctuation around clauses, and sentence completeness. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control while preserving your range.

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