Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear manager,

i writing to say that i would like to move to different apartment in your company, as i have been working in a customer service for two years. i would like to shift to production line, where i can improve my cognitive and product handling skills.

there are many skills and qualities i have learned while working at my current position such as, communications and time management. moreover, i have learned to deal with all kinds of customers, which will help me to start my own business.

there are various benefits that company will have if i start work as a supervisor in production room. i can leverage my communication skills to have better coordination with my colleagues, which can make manufacturing more efficient and easy.

i want to work for one company for longer period to make my job profile more attractive, which will help me to get high position job in future in other company. moreover, ma

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the main purpose by requesting a move from customer service to production, and you mention skills gained, a possible benefit to the company, and a reason for staying. However, the final point is not clearly fulfilled: saying you want a more attractive profile to obtain a higher-level job “in future in other company” suggests you may leave, which conflicts with the prompt. The benefit is also only briefly explained, and the letter ends abruptly at “moreover, ma…”. To strengthen the response, explain specifically how your customer-service experience would help the production team, and give a clear, convincing reason for remaining with this company, such as its culture or opportunities for long-term growth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, and the ideas broadly follow the task’s sequence: your request, skills learned, company benefits, and your reason for staying. Linking expressions such as “moreover” and “which” help connect some points. However, progression is weakened by the abrupt ending and by the unclear connection between wanting to stay and seeking a future job at another company. Some links are also mechanical, with “moreover” repeated. Use one paragraph for each main purpose, make the relationship between each idea explicit, and finish with a complete closing statement that reinforces your request and commitment to the company.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant workplace vocabulary, including “customer service,” “time management,” “coordination,” and “manufacturing,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “cognitive and product handling skills.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this context: “different apartment” does not mean a company department, and “shift to production line” is not the most natural way to describe a transfer. “High position job” and “production room” are also imprecise. Choose standard workplace collocations and use vocabulary that clearly describes the department and role you are seeking.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a relative clause in “which can make manufacturing more efficient and easy.” However, errors in basic sentence forms and punctuation are frequent enough to make parts of the letter less smooth. For example, “i writing” needs a finite verb (“I am writing”), and “i would like to move to different…” is missing an article before the noun. Capitalisation is inconsistent, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate present-tense forms, articles, and sentence completion, then proofread for capital letters and full stops. These corrections would make your meaning clearer while allowing you to retain the longer sentence structures you attempt.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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