Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Steve,

I am writting this letter regarding interdepartmental transfer, from Campaign department to Data and Analysis department. Company is recruiting the Data Engineer since long time and did not found the sutable match for the role. Furthermore, I also showcase my interest in the Data Analytical field, I beleive its a great opportunity for me to excell my career.

Working as a Campaign developer, I gain an experience of the advertisement campaign lifecycle. Understood the requirement of the customer and required reporting for the sales team. This knowledge will help me in to perform additional task in the organization.

Knowing the end to end campaign management, helps me to provide a good solution in the Data team. The new recruit might required to understand our existing pipeline and workflow, however it would be easier for me to transit and we can complete our development targets sooner.

This internal transfer will keep me motivated to give an extra mile and keep me in the company longer.

Kind Regards,

Peter Mac

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three required points: you describe learning about the campaign lifecycle and customer requirements, explain how this experience could help the Data team, and state that an internal move would keep you motivated and encourage you to stay. The transfer request is clear, and the comparison with a new recruit gives a relevant reason for the company to consider you. However, some points are only briefly developed. For example, “This knowledge will help me in to perform additional task” does not specify what tasks you could take on, and the reason for staying with the company could be more personal or specific. Expand these ideas with one or two concrete examples to make the case more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it introduces the transfer request, describes your current experience, explains the benefit to the Data team, and closes with your reason for staying. Paragraphing supports this progression, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “however,” and “This internal transfer” help connect the ideas. At times, though, the links feel mechanical or the relationship between ideas is not fully clear. For instance, the opening moves quickly from the company’s recruitment difficulty to your own interest, while “This knowledge” in the next paragraph could refer to several details. Use clearer references and develop transitions so that each paragraph builds more smoothly on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “interdepartmental transfer,” “campaign lifecycle,” “reporting,” “pipeline,” and “workflow,” which helps communicate the professional context. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “development targets sooner.” However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “writting,” “sutable,” “beleive,” and “excell.” Some collocations are also unnatural: “give an extra mile” and “Data Analytical field” do not sound idiomatic in this context. Aim to check spelling carefully and learn common professional combinations, such as “go the extra mile” and “data analytics.” This would make your vocabulary more accurate and natural while retaining its relevant range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The letter includes both simple and more complex sentence forms, such as the sentence beginning “The new recruit might…” and the explanation of how your experience could help the team. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “Company is recruiting” needs an article, “did not found” uses an incorrect verb form, and “I gain an experience” has an inaccurate tense and article. The phrase “help me in to perform” also has an incorrect grammatical pattern. Review past-tense forms for your two years of experience and practise verb patterns after “help,” as well as article use. More accurate control of these structures would strengthen the letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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