Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr Smith,

I am writing to express my interest in transferring to the marketing department because I believe this opportunity would allow me to develop my prefessional skills and career.

Currently I am working as custumer service representative. I have learnt crucial skills like time management, coordination with team and discipline. Moreover, I put alot of efforts to grow our company in two years since I joined this organization.

Furthermore, I would like to mention that as I have fullfilled all my responsibilities in these two-years, I deeply know everything about this organization. I can make sure that I will be taking much more intiatives in future to make this company one of the best in market by putting any kind of efforts it need.

Finally, I would like to state that I am fortunate to work in your company as it provides numerous health benefits like paid sick leave and dental coverage. So I do not wish to leave the organization due to supportive co-workers and professional environment which keeps my life less stressful and helps me to succed in my career.

I would appreciate it if you could consider my request and if you could inform me of the avaliable opportunities and transfer producer.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I will be waiting for your response.

Yours sincerely,

Raj.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and make your purpose clear from the opening: you want to transfer to marketing to develop your career. You identify skills gained in customer service, including time management and teamwork, and explain that your familiarity with the company could benefit it. Your reasons for staying—health benefits, supportive colleagues and a professional environment—are also relevant. This meets the task well, though some points are asserted rather than developed: for example, explain how your customer-service experience would help you understand customers or support marketing work. The claim that you know “everything” about the organization is also too broad. A more specific, supported case for the transfer would make the letter more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: you state your request, describe what you have learned, explain the potential benefit to the company, and give reasons for staying. Paragraph breaks and signposting such as “Furthermore” and “Finally” help the reader follow this progression. The closing is also appropriate for a formal request. However, some linking is mechanical, with several paragraphs beginning using formulaic transitions, and the relationship between your experience and the marketing department is not made explicit. The final request combines two “if” clauses, making it less direct. Use transitions more selectively and connect each paragraph’s main point to your central request to create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant workplace vocabulary, including “career development,” “responsibilities,” “health benefits,” and “professional environment,” so your meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “express my interest” and “consider my request.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “prefessional,” “custumer,” “fullfilled,” “intiatives,” “succed,” and “avaliable.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “put a lot of efforts,” “make this company one of the best in market,” and “transfer producer.” These choices limit precision and polish. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for workplace requests, such as “take initiative” and “transfer process.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a purpose clause in “because I believe this opportunity would allow me…” and a reason clause beginning “as it provides numerous health benefits.” Most sentences communicate your meaning, and the request is easy to understand. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “Currently I am working as customer service representative” needs an article before the job title, while “in two-years” uses an unnecessary hyphen and plural form. In “the efforts it need,” the verb does not agree with its subject, and “I will be taking much more initiatives” has an awkward determiner with a plural noun. Review articles, agreement, and noun forms, and punctuate introductory phrases consistently.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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