Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing to request about transfer to the head depatment of our firm.

Although I have gained significant experience in my current department, I prefer to enhance my knowledge.

I would appreciate it if you would consider my request and

Yours sincerely,

Nardeep Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5

The letter identifies a request to move departments and gives a brief reason: you want to “enhance my knowledge.” However, it does not explain what you have learned in your current role, how the company would benefit from the transfer, or why you want to remain with the company. The request is therefore only minimally addressed, and the reader has little information on which to consider it. The response also falls well short of the required 150 words, leaving the task substantially incomplete. To improve, develop each bullet point with specific details—for example, skills gained, how these could help the new department, and your commitment to the company—and complete the letter with a clear closing request.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable letter format, with a greeting, a brief opening, and a sign-off. The request appears first, followed by a general statement about gaining experience and wanting to learn more, so there is a basic sequence. However, the ideas are not developed into a coherent progression, and the final sentence is unfinished: “I would appreciate it if you would consider my request and” leaves the reader waiting for the rest of the thought. There is also no paragraphing to separate the purpose, supporting details, and conclusion. Organise the letter into short paragraphs and use linking phrases to connect the skills gained, the company’s benefit, and your reason for staying.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some appropriate workplace vocabulary, including “current department,” “significant experience,” and “career” is relevant to the situation, while “enhance my knowledge” communicates a desire to develop. However, the range is narrow because the response is very brief, and some wording is inaccurate or unnatural. “Request about transfer” is not a natural collocation, and “head depatment” is unclear and misspelled; specify the department you wish to join. The phrase “significant experience” is also general and would be more effective if supported by precise skills or responsibilities. Use accurate, formal expressions such as “request a transfer” and “contribute my experience to the [department].”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes a few sentence forms, including the complex clause beginning “Although I have gained significant experience…” and the polite conditional “I would appreciate it if you would consider…”. These show some ability to form more than simple statements. However, the grammatical range is limited, and the final sentence is incomplete because it ends with “and” without completing the clause. In “I am writing to request about transfer,” the pattern after “request” is not grammatically formed; write “I am writing to request a transfer.” Check articles and sentence completion, and use a wider range of complete sentences to explain your experience and reasons clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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