Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager.

I hope you are doing amazing , I am writing this letter to discuss my future plans with company , I want to let you know that i started this job two years ago which really helped me to gain new experience and it was really benefical for me , But now i feel i should moved to a different department in this company.

In this present job i learned about how to deal with basic problems , How to communicate at higher level and most importantly i gained experience working with experienced individuals. However it will also be benefical for company if they move me to marketing department as in these past two year i shaped my skills in digital marketing which is high demand nowadays , I think company's revenue can increase by greater propotion if i am moved to different department. Lastly i had other job offers but i tend to stay with this company as my work ethics match with the company's policy aswell i believe in loyalty.

I hope that you will consider this , Waiting for positive response.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe learning to handle problems, communicate at a higher level, and work with experienced colleagues; you propose a move to marketing; and you explain that you prefer to remain because your work values align with the company’s and you value loyalty. The link between your digital-marketing skills and a benefit to the company is relevant, but the claim that revenue could rise is not supported with a specific example or explanation. Your learning in the current role is also listed rather than connected to how it prepares you for the new department. Develop these points with a concrete contribution you could make and a clearer explanation of your career goals.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable opening, a main paragraph covering your experience and proposal, and a brief closing, so the reader can follow its overall purpose. However, several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the opening and the paragraph beginning “In this present job.” The repeated use of “I” and connectors such as “However” and “Lastly” makes the progression somewhat mechanical, and the relationship between your current learning and your marketing proposal could be clearer. Separate the three task points into more focused paragraphs, use transitions that show the precise relationship between ideas, and end with a more complete, appropriately formal closing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “digital marketing,” “revenue,” “experience,” and “loyalty,” which helps communicate your purpose. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “work ethics match with the company’s policy,” although this phrasing is not fully natural or precise. Spelling and word-choice errors—including “benefical,” “propotion,” and “doing amazing”—reduce accuracy and make the tone less suitable for a formal letter. Some wording is repetitive, especially “really” and “different department.” Build a more accurate range of professional expressions and check spelling and collocations carefully; this would make your request sound more polished and convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “as in these past two year I shaped my skills in digital marketing.” The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “I should moved” needs the base form “move,” and “I learned about how to deal” is more naturally structured as “I learned how to deal.” There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation: the opening joins several independent ideas with commas, and “Dear manager.” should use a comma. Review verb forms, articles and plural agreement, and divide long sentences into clearer units while retaining some complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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