Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Eli,

I am writing to request your approval to move to a Fraud Claim department as I have been working in the Fraud Analyst department for two years. So, I decided to change my occupation to try something different than my current job. I believe this changes will be beneficial for my career growth and my company.

I have learned different skills, such as detecting fraud, understanding transaction patterns and analyzing custome's account from my current postion.

If I get your approval to move to a Fraud Claim department, I believe the company will be benefitted by getting someone who has a prior experience in the fraud activities. As a result, I can contribute better to this department and deal with different complicated claims.

As a dedicated employee, I do not want to leave the company for different opportunities. That is why, I would like to stay in the same company for longer time and try different opporunties to boost my career in different fields.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully

Md Foiz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three required points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you request a transfer, describe skills gained in fraud analysis, explain how that experience could help the claims team, and state that you want to remain with the company. The examples of “detecting fraud” and “understanding transaction patterns” make your learning relevant. The benefit to the company is also clear, although “contribute better” and “deal with different complicated claims” would be stronger if supported with a specific example of how your skills could improve claim handling. Your reason for staying is relevant but could be developed further by explaining what you value about the company. This covers the task well, with some ideas less fully extended than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall progression: you introduce the request, describe your current experience, explain the potential benefit of a transfer, and give your reason for staying. Separate paragraphs help the reader follow these points, and phrases such as “As a result” and “That is why” show the relationships between ideas. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and the opening repeats the idea of changing roles in several ways. The connection between your experience and the specific needs of the Fraud Claim department could also be made more explicit. A more concise opening and smoother links between the evidence and its benefits would make the progression more consistently natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the workplace and fraud-related context, including “transaction patterns,” “prior experience,” “dedicated employee,” and “career growth.” This gives you enough range to communicate the main points, and the reader can understand your request. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “change my occupation” for an internal transfer and “the company will be benefitted.” There are also spelling errors in “custome's,” “postion,” and “oppurunties,” which reduce precision. Aim for more natural professional phrasing and check spelling carefully; this would make your vocabulary more flexible and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the conditional “If I get your approval…” and the reason clause “as I have been working…”. Most of the message remains understandable, and the paragraphs contain clear complete sentences. Some grammatical errors persist, though. For example, “this changes will be beneficial” has a disagreement between the demonstrative and noun, while “for longer time” is missing an article. The sentence beginning “So, I decided…” also shifts awkwardly from the present request to a past decision. Review agreement, articles, and tense choices, and use a wider range of accurately controlled sentence patterns to improve precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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