Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to request you for my transformation to a different department in the same company. In my present job, my work is packing the variety of goods in the box and putting on the squad. When I got hired 2 years ago, I was learning about the the products name and their function and than I got work to grade and weigh the product. After considering my work, I got work of packaging. From now, I am still working in that position. Promoting me to a new department will be grateful for the company because I have knowledge of all the work that is working behind us. I learned about every product in details. If I get move to a new department. I can easily convince the customers to buy the product. Moreover, my communication skills are very strong which will be beneficial in this new department. In addition, I have problem solving and team workin skills. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours faithfully, Raman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the purpose of the letter and give relevant information about your current duties and what you have learned, including knowledge of products and communication skills. However, the task is only minimally addressed because two key points are not adequately covered: you do not clearly explain why you want to remain with the company, and the benefit of transferring you is asserted rather than developed. The claim that you could “convince the customers to buy the product” is relevant, but needs a clearer link to the responsibilities of the new department. Add a direct explanation of your commitment to the company and support each requested point with specific details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The letter has a recognisable opening, a sequence describing your work history, and a closing, so the reader can identify its general purpose. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression becomes difficult to follow in places. For example, “After considering my work, I got work of packaging” is followed by “From now, I am still working in that position,” before the transfer benefits are introduced. The repeated use of “Moreover” and “In addition” does not fully clarify how the points relate. Group your learning, proposed contribution, and reason for staying into separate paragraphs, and use clearer links between them.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, such as “department,” “products,” “packaging,” “communication skills,” and “problem solving.” This gives you enough basic language to convey the general situation. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, and some phrases make the message harder to understand. For instance, “request you for my transformation” is not a natural way to ask for a transfer, while “putting on the squad” is unclear. “The products name” and “work that is working behind us” also show limited control of vocabulary. Choose precise workplace expressions and check common word partnerships before using them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including “When I got hired 2 years ago…” and “If I get move to a new department.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “I am writing to request you,” “I got work to grade and weigh,” and “If I get move,” where sentence patterns and verb forms are not controlled. There are also errors with articles and plurals, as in “the the products name.” Practise forming clear request sentences and conditional structures, and check verb forms and sentence boundaries. More accurate basic sentences would make your ideas easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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