Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Taylor,

The intent of this correspondence is bring your attention to this matter and seek an appropriate resolution.

Regarding this matter, I would like to highlight a few important observations. I have been working as a cashier in your company. I have learned a lot of things like, time management, interpersonal skills, conflict resolving skills, being more attentive and being a query resolver.

I want to persue my career into the management field. To resolve this matter satisfactorily, I really want to become a manager or a supervisor for your company. Moreover, I want to show my managerial skills into the field. On top of that, my study in management also can helpful to escalate my skills into that field.

I am working here since 2024, and I am planning to stay here longer. The reason for my inclination is, this place looks like home to me.I feel comfortable here and I found peace and some good colleuge here so, I do not want to leave this job for the upcoming few years.

I extend my appreciation for your consideration and I anticipate your valued response at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,

Maitri Bavarva

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the three requested points: you describe skills gained as a cashier, express interest in management, and explain that you want to remain with the company because it feels like home and you value your colleagues. However, the response only minimally fulfils the central request for a move to another department. Asking to “become a manager or a supervisor” does not identify a department or clearly explain a suitable transfer, and the company’s benefit is asserted rather than developed. The learning point is also presented mainly as a list, with little connection to your work or achievements. To make the purpose clearer, name a department and show how your cashier experience and management studies would help that team or the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable structure, with separate paragraphs for your current experience, career aims, and reasons for staying. This helps the reader follow the main topics. However, the opening, “The intent of this correspondence is bring your attention to this matter,” is vague and delays the purpose, while repeated phrases such as “Regarding this matter” and “To resolve this matter satisfactorily” make the progression feel mechanical. Some links between ideas are also unclear: the transition from wanting a management role to how the company would benefit is not fully explained. Use a direct opening that states your request, then organise the body around the three task points and connect each point with clear, natural transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for a workplace letter, including “time management,” “interpersonal skills,” “managerial skills,” and “career development.” These choices make your general meaning clear, and you attempt some formal expressions. However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “being a query resolver,” “show my managerial skills into the field,” and “escalate my skills.” There are also spelling errors, including “persue” and “colleuge,” and “conflict resolving skills” is not the natural collocation. Aim for accurate, conventional workplace language rather than overly formal wording: for example, say you “resolve customer queries” and “develop my management skills.” Proofreading spelling and collocations would make your vocabulary more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, including “The reason for my inclination is…” and “I feel comfortable here and I found peace…”. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “is bring your attention” needs an infinitive form (“is to bring”), and “my study in management also can helpful” is missing a suitable verb construction (“can also help”). The tense in “I am working here since 2024” should be present perfect (“I have been working here since 2024”). Punctuation and sentence boundaries also need attention, particularly in “here.I” and the long sentence beginning “The reason for my inclination is”. Review verb forms and use full stops or commas to separate ideas clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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