Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. Navjot,

I hope you are doing well.I am writing to express my feelings towards the position in the company which i joined 2 years ago as a front desk manager.

Honestly, during this job I learned alot from your company's staff as well as from management. I was able to acquire technical and practical skills within organization. Additionally, I can able to enhance my experience and knowledge in my field and was able to build my confidence in communication sector also.

Usually, I handled meetings and the front desk department along with this, I was also learning a salesperson work while attend meetings. Now, I have an intrest to join your sales department within the company.

I searched about this experience and qualifications which I already have and I recived offer letter from another company also but I do not want to leave due to familiar environment. I need carrer development if you are able to do please let me know otherwise I have option to move to another comapny. I hope you understand my situations and let me know if you have any questions .

Thankyou and best regards

Shamli

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the main purpose by requesting a move to the sales department, describing skills gained in your current role, and explaining that you prefer to remain with the company because of its familiar environment. However, the benefits to the company are not clearly explained: you mention handling meetings and learning sales work, but do not show how these abilities would help the sales team or the business. The reason for staying is also brief, while the reference to an offer from another company makes your request sound partly like an ultimatum. Develop each point more fully and frame your request positively—for example, explain how your customer-facing experience could support sales and why you value continuing your career with this employer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable structure: you introduce your purpose, discuss what you have learned, state your interest in sales, and finish with your reasons for staying. Paragraphing helps separate these points. However, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded together, particularly in the final paragraph, where the other offer, your preference to stay, and your request for career development appear in one long sequence. Some linking is also mechanical, such as repeated use of “also” and “Additionally.” Use clearer transitions and divide the final ideas into a more logical sequence: first explain your commitment to the company, then make a courteous request for a discussion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “front desk,” “management,” “technical and practical skills,” and “sales department,” so the reader can understand the general topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “feelings towards the position,” “communication sector,” and “a salesperson work.” Spelling errors including “alot,” “intrest,” “recived,” and “carrer” also reduce accuracy. Choose more precise expressions for professional correspondence, such as describing skills in customer service or communication and saying that you have gained experience in sales-related tasks. Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your message more professional and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms occur often enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “I can able to enhance” combines two incompatible forms; use “I was able to develop” or “I have developed.” In “while attend meetings,” the verb form should be “while attending meetings.” There are also punctuation and capitalisation problems, such as “doing well.I” and the lowercase “i.” The final paragraph contains several clauses joined without clear sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check verb forms, capital letters, and full stops before sending the letter.

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