Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear sir/madam,

I hope this letter finds you well.I want to take this oportunity to give you thanks and to inform you that I am very greatful for allowing me to be a member of your your company.As a competent employee of your company, I would like to tell you that my life has improved because of your prompt commitment to me since I joined your company two years ago.

I joined this company as a driver and i am happy so far so good despite the challenges that i started experiencing six months ago.Working as a driver in your company has been the most interesting and adventures.I now feel it is important for my career development to move to a different department within the company.

I would like to to shift from driving job to workshop works to use my skills to improve in production of our products.I would like to tell you that i am a qualified capenter by profession and I understand wood work.I would be very greatful if you consider my request .Thanks for your time and I am eargerly waiting to hearing a positive response from you .

Yours faithfully

Brian mboya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make the central request clear: you want to move from driving to workshop work, and you explain that you are a carpenter with woodworking knowledge. However, the task is addressed only partially. You mention that you have worked as a driver and found the job interesting, but you do not clearly describe what you have learned in the role. More importantly, you do not explain how the company would benefit from your transfer; saying you want to improve production focuses on your own aim and needs a specific benefit to the employer. You also do not explain why you wish to remain with this company. Develop each bullet point directly, for example by linking your driving experience and carpentry skills to a practical contribution in the workshop.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The letter has a recognisable opening, body paragraphs and closing, and its general direction—from gratitude to your work history and then your request—is understandable. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the first paragraph contains several ideas about gratitude, your membership and your life improving, while the final paragraph combines the transfer request, qualifications and closing. The repeated “I would like to tell you” also makes the links feel mechanical, and the reader is left to infer how the paragraphs connect to the task points. Give each main purpose its own clear paragraph and use direct transitions, such as “In my current role…” and “The company would benefit because…”. This would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “career development,” “different department,” “qualified carpenter” and “wood work,” so the reader can understand the general request. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the most interesting and adventures,” “workshop works” and “shift from driving job.” Spelling errors including “oportunity,” “greatful,” “capenter” and “eagerly” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the main message from being understood, but they make the letter less natural and professional. Practise common workplace collocations and check spelling; for example, use “transfer to the workshop department” and “contribute to production” rather than the less natural phrases in the draft.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You form several complete sentences and attempt to connect ideas with clauses, as in “despite the challenges that I started experiencing six months ago.” The meaning is generally recoverable, but the range of structures is limited and errors recur. Examples include the duplicated construction “I would like to to shift,” the missing article in “from driving job,” and the faulty phrase “I am eagerly waiting to hearing.” There are also punctuation and capitalisation problems, such as “well.I” and lowercase “i.” These errors make parts of the letter awkward to read, even though the overall request remains understandable. Focus on accurate sentence patterns, articles and verb forms, and proofread punctuation and capital letters before sending.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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