Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Mr Smith,

I am writing to inform you that I started my job two years ago. Now I feel it is important for my career development to move to a different department in the same company. However, I have learned many things in my current job such as how to tackle difficult task and, how to organzie meeting and, how to do tasks in a team. Additionally, you know my main department is finance, and I am eager to work in the finance department. I strongly suggest that the company would benefit from moving me to the finance department. In this company, I have spent my good and bad days in this company. When many companies rejected me and I didn't have a job, your company hired me, polished my skills, and gave me confidence. I am very passionate about working in the finance department.

I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

X.Y.Z

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You make a relevant request to move departments and mention learning teamwork, meeting organisation and how to handle difficult tasks. You also explain your loyalty by recalling that the company hired and supported you when you were unemployed. However, the benefit to the company is only asserted—“the company would benefit”—rather than explained, and the reason for choosing finance is unclear because you say your “main department is finance” while also asking to move to finance. The response is also below the required 150 words, which limits how fully you can develop the points. Add specific skills you could contribute in the new role and explain why you want to remain with this employer rather than simply expressing passion for finance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter follows a recognisable sequence: it introduces the request, describes what you have learned, gives a reason for staying, and closes politely. Basic links such as “However,” “Additionally,” and “When” help connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one dense paragraph, so the separate task points are not clearly organised. Some connections are awkward or repetitive: “In this company” is repeated in the same sentence, and “Additionally” does not clearly connect the department information to the preceding list of skills. Use separate paragraphs for your learning, the company’s benefit, and your reasons for staying, and make each transition show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough relevant vocabulary to communicate the main message, including “career development,” “tackle difficult task,” “organize meeting,” “team,” and “polished my skills.” These phrases show an attempt to describe workplace experience and professional growth. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or repetitive, such as “many things,” “good and bad days,” and the repeated “in this company.” There is also a spelling error in “organzie.” Choose more specific workplace language and check spelling: for example, describe the skills you have gained as “prioritising tasks” or “coordinating meetings,” and explain how these would be useful in the department you are seeking to join.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the main points using mostly simple sentence patterns, and the request and closing are understandable. There are attempts to combine ideas, for example, “When many companies rejected me and I didn't have a job, your company hired me…” However, the range remains limited, and errors in sentence construction and punctuation are frequent enough to affect fluency. In “how to tackle difficult task and, how to organzie meeting and, how to do tasks in a team,” the list is not punctuated or structured correctly; use parallel forms without commas before each “and.” The sentence beginning “When many companies rejected me” is also a dependent clause joined awkwardly to the main idea. Practise accurate lists and varied, complete sentence structures.

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