Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you finds this letter in a good health. I am a social media manager in your company and work here from the past two years. I have learned a lot of skills in this section regarding marketing and content creation, but now I would like to move to another department in the same firm.

I think, it would be beneficial for the organization if you will make an effort for my transfer to the other department. Because, I am able to gain more knowledge and want to give progress for the success of the company. It would make me confident to perform double tasks.

Moreover, I can't leave this organization because I am satisfied and comfortable with all my colleagues and the environment. I have a strong bonding with all of them, and the main reason is my loyalty for this firm. I want to become able to do better for this workplace. I hope you will understand my thoughts and give me some relaxation regarding the transfer.

Yours sincerely,

Ayesha

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three required points: you mention learning marketing and content creation, request a move to another department, and explain that you value your colleagues and the company environment. Your wish to remain with the firm is clear. However, the benefit to the company is not fully explained: “gain more knowledge” and “give progress for the success of the company” focus mainly on your own development and do not show what skills or results you would bring to the new department. The request for “some relaxation regarding the transfer” is also unclear. To strengthen the response, name a department or explain how your current social-media experience could support its work, and make the requested action more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The ideas follow a generally sensible order: you introduce your current role, make the transfer request, and then explain why you want to stay. Paragraphing helps distinguish these points, and connectors such as “Moreover” make the final reason easy to identify. However, progression within the request paragraph is less clear. “Because” begins a sentence fragment, while “It would make me confident to perform double tasks” does not clearly connect to the company’s benefit. Some links, including “I hope you will understand my thoughts,” are general rather than guiding the reader through a specific argument. Group related reasons together and use clearer links between your experience, the proposed transfer, and the company’s gains.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “social media manager,” “marketing,” “content creation,” “transfer,” and “loyalty.” This gives the reader a clear sense of your role and motivation. However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “give progress for the success,” “perform double tasks,” “strong bonding,” and “some relaxation regarding the transfer.” These choices make parts of the argument difficult to interpret, even though the overall message remains understandable. Aim for more precise workplace collocations and wording that distinguishes your personal development from the value you would offer the company. For example, describe how your marketing experience could contribute to the new department rather than relying on broad claims about success.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The letter includes both simple statements and attempts at longer sentences, and the main message is usually understandable. However, errors in basic structures and more complex attempts are noticeable. Examples include “I hope you finds” (subject–verb agreement), “work here from the past two years” (tense and time expression), and “if you will make an effort” (conditional structure). “Because, I am able…” is an incorrectly punctuated fragment, and “I want to become able” is an awkward construction. These issues sometimes interrupt the flow, although they do not prevent the reader from understanding your request. Practise accurate present-perfect forms for experience and use complete sentences with controlled conditional structures.

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