Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Mr. Raj,

I am writing to express my satisfaction with SteelCraft Manufacturing Company. As I am working as a Material Handler, I am familier with materials which we used to make parts for our customers.

As my responsibilities to keep running the production conestenly, while fullfill the requirements of painter and prepares. I learn to managing time and also planning each steps of process, which could make process so smoothly.

Moreimportantly, I understand the inventory cycle of our department, which I believe that might be fit best for shipping coordinator position. Futhermore,I learning shipping process during weekends overtimes to shipped the parts and do paper works

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The letter is relevant to the situation and begins to explain what you have learned, mentioning time management, planning production steps, and understanding the inventory cycle. You also suggest a possible move to a shipping coordinator role. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it does not clearly explain how the company would benefit from the transfer, and it gives no reason for wanting to remain with the company. The request to move departments is also not stated directly, and the letter ends without a closing. The response is 107 words, below the required 150, so there is not enough development to cover all three points. Add a clear request, explain the value you would bring, and state why you wish to stay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation: the opening identifies your current role, and later sentences move towards your skills and a possible shipping position. Linking expressions such as “As” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the responsibilities, skills, and proposed transfer are compressed into incomplete or loosely connected sentences. The final sentence also stops abruptly, leaving the letter without a clear conclusion. Use separate paragraphs for your experience, the proposed move and its benefits, and your reason for staying. Complete each idea before moving on, and finish with a polite closing so the reader can follow the purpose of the letter.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “Material Handler,” “inventory cycle,” “production,” and “shipping coordinator,” which helps establish the context. There are also attempts to express specific duties rather than relying entirely on general language. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning harder to understand, as in “familier,” “conestenly,” “Futhermore,” and “paper works.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “planning each steps of process” and “shipping process during weekends overtimes.” Check spelling carefully and learn common workplace collocations. More precise wording for your skills and the company’s potential benefit would make the letter clearer and more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “As” and “which.” However, these structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, so the reader has to work to understand the relationships between ideas. For example, “As my responsibilities to keep running the production…” is not a complete sentence, and “I learn to managing time” combines verb forms incorrectly. The final sentence also shifts between forms in “I learning … to shipped.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check tense and verb patterns: for example, “I have learned to manage my time” and “I am learning the shipping process.” This would improve accuracy while retaining sentence variety.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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