Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Respected manager

Subject :- I want to change the department in your company .

I am writing this letter to manager about changing my department in the same company because I reaaly like to work with you . Not only I learn so many things with you but also I chances to get more and more oppourtunities to bild up my self lonly .

Apart from this I get so much experience in new things because of you and collogues help me to learn in easiest way which is best for me .

I donot want to change any other company because i feel like family ith you all of them

your sincerly

Ritu

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the purpose of the letter—requesting a move within the company—and give a reason for staying, saying you “really like to work with you” and feel “like family.” You also mention learning from colleagues, but the task asks what you learned in your present job, and this remains vague. Most importantly, you do not explain how the company would benefit from transferring you, so one key bullet point is missing. The response is also below the required 150 words, which limits the opportunity to develop the points. To improve, address all three prompts directly, add specific examples of skills gained, and explain how these would help the new department and the company.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The letter has a recognisable sequence: a subject line, an explanation of the request, reasons for staying, and a closing. Connectors such as “Not only…but also” and “Apart from this” show an attempt to link ideas. However, the ideas are compressed into one main paragraph, and the relationship between learning, gaining experience, and requesting a transfer is not always clear. The opening and closing are also not fully integrated into a conventional letter format. Use separate paragraphs for your current learning, the company’s benefit, and your wish to remain, and make each paragraph’s purpose clear. This would create a more coherent progression rather than relying mainly on a few linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “department,” “experience,” “opportunities,” and “colleagues,” so the reader can understand the general topic. However, the range is limited, and several spelling errors—such as “reaaly,” “oppourtunities,” “bild,” and “collogues”—reduce accuracy. Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, for example “build up my self lonly” and “learn in easiest way.” Aim for precise workplace language and check spelling carefully. You could describe particular skills or responsibilities rather than repeating general ideas about learning and experience; this would make the request more specific and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a complex structure in “Not only I learn so many things…but also…,” and most of the basic message remains understandable. However, the inversion required after “Not only” is missing, and the sentence has an incomplete or unclear second clause. Other examples include “I donot want to change any other company,” where the verb pattern and meaning are not expressed accurately, and “I feel like family ith you all of them,” which lacks a clear grammatical structure. Sentence forms are mostly simple, with limited accurate control of more complex patterns. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use consistent tense when describing what you have learned over the past two years.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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