Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I would like to say a pleasant day.It is to bring to your attention with my concern regarding personal and career growth development.I can feel that I really need to move to the next level as I want to explore my capacity.If you could help me move to other department is a euge career opportunity in my behalf.

I have learned lots of thing in my current position in fact I was the employee of the monh last quarter,this can preapre me for much biger role in finance department.I wish you could grant me with my request because I do not want to laeve the company as it is my second home alraedy.It has been two decayed that I am here.

Looking forward for your support and approval in this matter as the head of HR deprtment.I would beglad if you can decide as early as possible.

Thanks,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the main purpose by requesting a move and explaining that you want to develop your career while remaining with the company. You also mention learning in your current role and offer the employee-of-the-month recognition as evidence of your performance. However, the benefit to the company is only briefly suggested through your readiness for a larger role in finance; explain more specifically how your experience or skills would help that department. The reason for staying is also underdeveloped: calling the company your “second home” conveys attachment, but a practical reason, such as valuing the company’s culture or opportunities, would make this clearer. The request is understandable, though the letter’s purpose and supporting points need fuller development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable sequence: it introduces the request, gives some information about your current role, explains why you want to stay, and closes by asking for support. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages. However, several ideas are crowded together, particularly in the second paragraph, and the links between them are not always clear. For example, the employee-of-the-month detail is followed immediately by the claim that it prepares you for a finance role, without explaining the connection. The opening also contains several statements about growth before the specific request is made. Use clearer topic sentences and linking phrases, and give each task point its own focused explanation to create more consistent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “career growth,” “current position,” “finance department,” and “employee of the month,” so the reader can identify the topic and your request. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the letter difficult to interpret, such as “euge,” “monh,” “preapre,” and “decayed.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “a pleasant day” is not a suitable opening, and “a much bigger role” does not clearly describe the responsibilities you seek. Aim for accurate, professional collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise language about your skills and the department’s needs would make the request more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to combine ideas in longer sentences, for example, “I have learned lots of thing in my current position in fact I was the employee…” However, these attempts are often faulty because clauses are joined without appropriate punctuation or linking words. Other errors include “If you could help me move to other department is…” and “I do not want to leave the company as it is my second home already,” where the sentence structures are not controlled consistently. There is little variety beyond simple statements and these attempted complex forms, and errors in articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries recur. Practise building accurate request and reason clauses, and use full stops or conjunctions to separate complete ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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