Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

It has been already been 2 years since I joined the company. I have learnt a lot ever since I joined the establishment. I have learnt to write emails, monitor files of employees, help the human resource officer employee conflict resolution and process their leaves. I believe that I have acquired enough knowlwdge and experience currently. Besides, I have already completed my degree course from the University of Mauritius. I am humbly requesting you to shift me in the Human Resource Department as Human Resource Officer. According to my professional experience and accademic credentials qualify me for this promotion. In addition, the company would certainly benefit from this promotion as I already know how the work functions and I also got acquainted with the employees. It is worth to be noted that a new commer will have to learn everything from the scatch and the company will have invest time and funds in training the latter. Furthermore, I am used with my colleagues and surrounding of the company. It will be a heartthrob to quit it for me.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points and make your purpose clear: you request a move to Human Resources, explain what you have learned, and give reasons for staying with the company. Specific duties such as writing emails, monitoring employee files, and helping with conflict resolution make your current experience relevant. You also explain the company’s benefit through your familiarity with its work and staff. The request for a promotion is clear, but the case for your suitability would be stronger with a more precise link between your experience, degree, and the responsibilities of the proposed role. Your reason for remaining is present, though “used with my colleagues and surrounding” is not fully clear. More development of these points would make the letter more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The ideas follow a generally sensible order: you describe your current learning, make the request, explain the company’s benefit, and then say why you want to stay. Connectors such as “Besides,” “In addition,” and “Furthermore” help signal these stages. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph, so the different purposes of the letter are not visually separated. Some transitions also feel mechanical, and the relationship between your qualifications and the promotion is not expressed smoothly. For example, “According to my professional experience and accademic credentials qualify me” interrupts the progression. Use short paragraphs for the background, request and benefits, and closing reason, and make each transition express the specific relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “Human Resource Department,” “conflict resolution,” “professional experience,” and “training,” which helps communicate the topic. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “I am humbly requesting.” However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “monitor files of employees,” “a new commer,” “from the scatch,” and “It will be a heartthrob to quit it” are either unnatural or unclear. “Promotion” may also be less precise than “transfer” if you are asking to move departments rather than advance in rank. Aim for natural professional expressions and check spelling; this would make your meaning clearer and more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including the explanation beginning “as I already know how the work functions.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. In “It has been already been 2 years,” the verb phrase is duplicated; “help the human resource officer employee conflict resolution” needs a clearer grammatical connection; and “According to my professional experience and accademic credentials qualify me” has no correct sentence structure. The sentence about the company having to invest time and funds also needs “to” after “will.” Review verb forms, sentence construction, and articles, especially when combining several ideas. More accurate control of these patterns would make the letter easier to read.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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