Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear SIr,

I hope you are doing well, I am writing this letter to request for a departmental transfer from estimation to procurement department. I have been working in estimation department since December, 2024, in these two years I have learnt about almost all market prices and qualities. I believe that if I got transferred to procurement department I could provide some benefits to our organisation as I have built some strong contacts with the vendors. During my time in this company I have enjoyed working with my colleagues and seniors. It will be stressful for me to leave this company just to shift my department. So I would like to get transfer in procurement department as a buyer, which will help me to build strong career and beneficiary for the organisation.

Kindly, accept my request for departmental trasfer and allow me to work in procurement department from next month.

Yours truly,

Abby

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe learning about market prices and product quality, explain that vendor contacts could help in procurement, and give a reason for staying with the company. These are relevant, practical details. However, the learning point is only briefly stated, and the benefit to the company would be more convincing if you explained how your market knowledge and vendor relationships could improve purchasing, such as by securing better prices or reliable supplies. Your reason for remaining is mainly that leaving would be stressful; adding a positive reason, such as valuing the company’s culture or opportunities, would develop this point more fully. The purpose and intended transfer date are clear, though a more formal, tactful request would suit a letter to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The ideas follow a generally sensible order: you state the request, describe your experience, explain the potential benefit, and close by asking for approval. This makes the letter understandable. However, nearly all the content is placed in one long paragraph, so the separate purposes of the letter are not clearly signposted. Divide it into short paragraphs—for example, one for your current role and learning, one for the company’s benefit and your reasons for staying, and a final request. Some links between ideas are also abrupt: the move from enjoying colleagues to finding it stressful to leave could be connected more explicitly. The repeated request in the final sentences could be streamlined to give the ending a clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “departmental transfer,” “estimation,” “procurement,” “market prices,” and “vendors,” which helps communicate the situation. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “I am writing this letter to request.” However, several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, including “request for a departmental transfer,” “qualities” when referring to products, “beneficiary for the organisation,” and “get transfer.” “Trasfer” is also misspelled in the closing request. These do not prevent the reader from understanding your purpose, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for standard collocations such as “request a transfer,” “product quality,” and “benefit the organisation,” and use a consistently professional tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including the conditional “if I got transferred … I could provide” and the relative clause “which will help me.” The main message remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. The opening joins two independent clauses with a comma: “I hope you are doing well, I am writing…”; use a full stop or a suitable conjunction. Other examples include “I have learnt about almost all market prices” (the article and phrasing need adjustment) and “I would like to get transfer,” where the noun phrase requires a different grammatical form. The conditional would also be more natural as “if I were transferred.” Check sentence boundaries and article use, while continuing to practise varied sentence structures.

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