Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Curtis,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to request to change my current admin department to marketing department, as I have recently completed a digital marketing degree from university last month.

I am working in admin department since two years.During this time, I have gained experiecne in communication, teamwork and it also helps to enhance my potential to work under different circumstances while providing extereme customer service. These skills and qualificatons would help me to perform more better in my upcoming tasks and projects.

Our company has good reputation and also has better market scale, where I can use my skills to gain more experience and profits for the company. Despite these reasons, I really inspired from the company's culture and positive enviornment. Therefore, I would prefer to change the departments within the company for better careeer development.

I would be grateful if you could consider my request.

Yours sincerely,

Jashan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you explain that you have worked in administration for two years, connect your communication and teamwork skills to a possible move, and state that you value the company’s culture and environment. The main ideas are relevant, but some are less fully developed than others. In particular, the benefit to the company is asserted through “more experience and profits” without explaining how your marketing degree or administrative experience could contribute to specific work. The reason for staying is also clear but brief. To strengthen the letter, add a concrete example of how your skills could support the marketing team and explain more specifically what you value about remaining with this employer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: it opens with the request, then describes your experience, gives reasons for the transfer, and closes politely. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “During this time,” “Despite these reasons,” and “Therefore” guide the reader through your points. However, the progression within the second and third paragraphs is sometimes abrupt: the link between your administrative skills and the company’s marketing needs is not made explicit, and “Despite these reasons” does not clearly signal the relationship between the ideas that follow. Use more precise transitions and connect each supporting point directly to your request. This would make cohesion less mechanical and the reasoning easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a suitable range of work-related vocabulary, including “communication,” “teamwork,” “customer service,” “projects,” and “career development,” so your meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “market scale,” but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, and spelling errors reduce precision. Examples include “experiecne,” “qualificatons,” “extereme,” and “enviornment”; “perform more better” is also an unsuitable expression. Aim for accurate collocations and proofread carefully. For instance, “strong market presence” would express the company’s position more naturally than “better market scale,” while “contribute to marketing projects” would make your intended benefit clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and longer structures, including the opening sentence with “as” and the sentence beginning “Despite these reasons.” The message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction and in the use of articles and verb forms. For example, “I am working in admin department since two years” needs a present-perfect form and a different time expression, while “request to change my current admin department to marketing department” needs clearer grammatical framing. “These skills and qualifications would help me to perform more better” also has an incorrect comparative construction. Practise accurate tense patterns for situations continuing to the present, and check articles and sentence structure when revising.

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