Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, it has been noticed that many individuals struggling to find jobs and government is offering them some perks to cover their living expenses. For this reason, questions are raised that unemployed people, who receiving benefits from the government should participate in community work. I completely agree with the given statement and will discuss various reasons behind it.

To begin with, there are many problems which arise because of the unemployment. Firstly, people, who are not working usually face mental health problems such as depression and over thinking. As a result, they start consuming drugs, which are detrimental for their health. If they are doing some community work to receive perks, then they will not feel loneliness. Moreover, they will get chance to socialize, which helps them feel that they are not the only one in this world facing these situations.

In addition, community work can help individuals to add this invaluable experience for further job research because mostly companies are looking for the workers, who have prior experience. Hence, it is beneficial for them not only in job searching but also for making connections. Furthermore, while working in community centres, many employees visiting communities regularly offer them full- time work, which helps to lower the unemployment rate. For instance, in Canada, many employers people secure a job as a receptionist and admins while working in community centre.

To sum up, community work is beneficial for not only individuals but also for the government as it helps to improve chances of getting job and to stay away from mental diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion regarding the ethics of photographing famous people, but the essay discusses the merits of community service for the unemployed. As the student failed to address the task prompt entirely, this criterion is severely impacted. While the essay is structured as an argument, it does not respond to the specific question posed in the instructions. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your ideas directly relate to the topic provided. In an actual exam, this would be treated as a non-attempt at the specific task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with clear topic sentences, such as 'To begin with' and 'In addition'. There is a clear progression of ideas within the paragraphs, and cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' are used to link sentences. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the overall coherence is undermined. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the flow of the argument is logical, even though the subject matter is incorrect. If the content were relevant to the prompt, the coherence and cohesion would be at a much higher level.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with phrases like 'contemporary era', 'detrimental for their health', and 'invaluable experience'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'mental diseases' (mental health issues is more accurate) and 'over thinking' (should be one word: overthinking). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to express ideas clearly, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary that fits the specific context of the essay topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'government is offering' (should be 'the government'), 'who receiving' (should be 'who are receiving'), and 'many employers people secure' (which is syntactically confused). While these errors are frequent, they do not generally impede the reader's understanding of the writer's intended meaning. To reach a higher band, you should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures will also help improve your score.

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