Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Many individuals argue that the central authority ought to allocate more funds in conservation of ecosytem, whereas others believe that there primary focus should be on the betterment of healthcare. Although increase in environment funding is critical for preserving natural resources, I opine that advancement in medical care reduces the mortality rate and improves overall quality of life.
On the one hand, increased funding helps government to purchase advanced cleaning tools, as they can clean natural resources, such as rivers and lakes more efficiently. They can deal with algal bloom with these machines, which consumes maximum amount of oxygen present in water bodies, which leads to death of many aquatic organisms due to inadequate amount of oxygen. For instance, Norway had invested substantially on these equipment in last decade to preserve aquatic ecosystem, which showed great results and they reduced the death of aquatic organisms by 25%. Therefore, allocated funds can help the government to preserve these natural water bodies.
On the other hand, increased funding to healthcare directly improves the life of human beings. These funds help government to buy advanced machines such as, MRI and X-ray , which can diagnose any disease, which is not possible with old and faulty equipment. These tools not only prepare government to deal with any pandemic such as COVID-19 but also help them in reducing infant mortality rate. Thus, funds can be utilised more effectively to cure any chronic disease.
To conclude, despite the fact that the allocation of funds to environment definately helps government to preserve natural ecosytem such as water bodies, I still believe that more robust healthcare system helps them to deal with any emergency situation and it also improves life expectancy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion regarding the ethics of paparazzi and professional photographers following famous people. However, the essay discusses the allocation of government funds between environmental conservation and healthcare. Because the response fails to address the specific task prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed on the development of the required arguments. While the essay structure follows a standard argumentative format, the content is irrelevant to the instructions provided. To improve, it is essential to carefully read the prompt and ensure the essay directly answers the specific question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. Despite the content being irrelevant to the prompt, the internal structure and flow of the writing are coherent and easy to follow. The progression of ideas within the paragraphs is logical, demonstrating a good grasp of how to structure an academic-style essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for an academic essay. There is a sufficient range of vocabulary to express ideas clearly, such as 'mortality rate', 'aquatic organisms', 'chronic disease', and 'life expectancy'. There are some minor spelling errors, such as 'ecosytem' (ecosystem) and 'definately' (definitely). However, these do not impede communication. The student demonstrates an ability to use topic-specific vocabulary, even though the topic chosen is incorrect for the task. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring consistent accuracy in spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The student demonstrates a good control of grammatical structures, using a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are some minor errors, such as 'there primary focus' (their primary focus) and 'invested substantially on these equipment' (invested substantially in this equipment). Punctuation is generally accurate, though there are occasional issues with comma placement, such as 'machines such as, MRI'. Despite these errors, the grammar is clear and does not cause difficulty for the reader. The range of structures is sufficient to convey complex ideas, and the majority of sentences are error-free.
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