Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries and government should promote the industry. Do you agree or disagree.

it goes without saying that, tourisn is become a excellent source of income in lot of cities. Thus, authorities should take steps to increase this industry. I am largely disagree with this statement because it can not distract the attention of management from more important issues but also require more money to promote the industry.

when it comes to discuss about the agareement, apart from the tourism there are lot of concerns which governement should pay attention towards such as education. To make it clear, in most rural areas children are unable to get higher education because it is expensive and they cannot afford the fee. For example, in 2010 university of America survey the villages and they found that 50% of illiteracy is becuase people can not bear the cost of institutes. Hence, regime should spend money towards education sector than tourism.

Shifting towards views of disagreement, it is undinable that tourism is a strong factor to support finacial condition of nation. To explain it, when tourists comes to visit historical places then they spend on living and food also which directly trigger to boost finacial conditon of economy and government can use that money in the progression of own country. For example, a times of India news channel conduct a survey that becuase of tourism in Agra the local vendors earning on a peak level as compared to off season. Thus, they can easily pay their taxes.

In conclusion, although, toursim is great factor for economy yet education, health and pollution are the main concerning issues that needs to be tackle and require money. So, law-enforcement should pay attention towards this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The candidate has completely misunderstood the prompt, writing an essay about tourism instead of the actual prompt regarding famous people and professional photographers. In doing so, the response fails to address the core requirements of the task. Although a position is stated, it pertains to an entirely different question. According to the band descriptors, when a response is off-topic in this manner, it cannot achieve a satisfactory score for Task Achievement. The ideas are focused on education, health, and tourism, which are irrelevant to the given prompt about celebrities and paparazzi. Consequently, the score must reflect this major shortfall in addressing the specific prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Despite the off-topic content, the essay demonstrates a basic structure with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing different sides, and a conclusion. Transitional phrases such as 'Shifting towards views of disagreement' and 'In conclusion' are attempted to link ideas together. However, logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing, run-on sentences, and mechanical cohesive devices like 'To make it clear' and 'To explain it'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall arrangement is hindered by the lack of a cohesive thematic connection to the actual task. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to break up the text, preventing a lower score.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, featuring frequent word-choice and spelling errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples of errors include 'tourisn', 'become a excellent', 'agareement', 'governement', 'undinable', 'finacial', and 'concerning issues'. While the writer attempts less common vocabulary such as 'regime', 'vendor', and 'progression', these are often used inaccurately or inappropriately in context. The range of vocabulary is limited to everyday topics, and terms are frequently misspelled, placing this response firmly in the lower-intermediate band for lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('tourism is become', 'tourists comes'), incorrect prepositions, and improper article usage ('university of America survey', 'a times of India news channel'). The sentence structures are often awkward, such as 'I am largely disagree with this statement because it can not distract the attention', which mixes negative structures incorrectly. These persistent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader, though the general meaning can usually be deciphered.

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