Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern era, celebrities are constantly under the lens of the media, with paparazzi documenting their every move.Under constant surveillance is a positive glance for public figures but others opine that relentless media attention is harmfull for them.

On the one hand, it is unequivocal that photography creates transperancy among people and high-profile personalities. when people watch them on telivisions then they get impressed by their luxuries lifestyes, and inspirational hardwork. Consequently, many fans start gym, working hard and start following a strict routine to get in shape.Moreover, media strength mutual benifical relationships between people and celebrities. Public curiosity enhance motivation of famous celebrities. limelight gives them a strong confidence to face people. it is also easy for celebrities to earn by doing endorsement.which will help them to stay relevent among common people.

On the flip side, constant surveillance takes invasion of privacy. which means they can not spend time with their family and kids, so they have not privacy . right of privacy is first right for every person in world. they cannot go anywhere with family they have to face limelight everywhere.furthure more, safety becomes matter of concern. as photography everywhere can make problem for them because someone can stalking them which create troubles for their personal life.

to conclude, everything have double-edged sword which give

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You introduce both perspectives and give relevant points: public figures may inspire fans, while photographers can invade family privacy and create safety risks. However, the discussion is only partial. The benefits are developed more than the opposing view, and claims such as “photography creates transparency” and “public curiosity enhance motivation” are not clearly explained or supported with examples. Most importantly, the conclusion is unfinished (“everything have double-edged sword which give”), so your own opinion is not established. The response is also 31 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop the ideas. To improve, state your position clearly and complete the discussion with specific explanations or examples for both views.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and an attempted conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the flip side” help readers identify the contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and several points are placed together without clear links—for example, the discussion moves from fans’ lifestyles to celebrity endorsements. Some transitions are awkward or incomplete, such as “which means” beginning a sentence fragment, while the final sentence stops before completing the conclusion. Improve cohesion by grouping related ideas, using clear sentence boundaries, and explaining how each point supports the paragraph’s main claim. A complete concluding paragraph would also give the essay a more coherent overall shape.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “paparazzi,” “high-profile personalities,” “surveillance,” “invasion of privacy,” and “endorsement.” These choices show awareness of the subject, but inaccurate spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear: “transperancy,” “harmfull,” “mutual benifical relationships,” and “stay relevent.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “positive glance” and “photography creates transparency.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than using ambitious phrases whose meaning is uncertain. Proofread spelling carefully and choose wording that directly expresses your point—for example, explain that media coverage can satisfy public interest or that intrusive photography can violate privacy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some longer sentence patterns, including a conditional-style explanation beginning “when people watch them” and a result clause introduced by “Consequently.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and clause structure often distract the reader. Examples include “when people watch them on telivisions” after a full stop, “Public curiosity enhance,” and the fragment “which means they can not spend time with their family and kids.” The conclusion, “everything have double-edged sword which give,” is also grammatically incomplete. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, checking singular/plural agreement, and using full stops and capital letters consistently. These changes will make your ideas easier to follow.

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