Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in the paragraph the autor describe the over population of newyork and their five districts from1800to2000 the over population of their five districts is decreased from 1900 to 2000 the over population of new york district manthaan is decreases from 76petcentange to20 percentage in 1900to 2000 on the other hand the manthan has 60000 above people in 1800 but in1900 their population is fall its percentage is less on the other hand the other districts of new york has been increases day by day and year by year the over population of newyork district is increases from fourty five percentage to eighty percentage so the other disteic population us greater the manthan the manthan population fell sharply than other districts od new york

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad contrast between Manhattan and the other districts, noting that Manhattan’s share falls while the other districts’ share rises. However, the account is incomplete and some figures are inaccurate: Manhattan’s share was 76% in 1800, 54% in 1900 and 19% in 2000, not 76% to 20% “in 1900 to 2000”; the other districts rose from 24% to 46% to 81%, rather than from 45% to 80%. The city’s total population growth is not reported, and there is no clear overview of the main changes across all three years. The response also does not meet the 150-word minimum. To improve, summarise the overall population increase and accurately compare the key figures and trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response makes an attempt to connect comparisons using phrases such as “on the other hand” and “so,” and the reader can recognise that it discusses Manhattan and the other districts. However, the ideas are presented as one long, loosely connected sequence, with no clear paragraphing or progression from an overview to supporting details. Repeated transitions do not always show a meaningful contrast, and references such as “their population” are unclear. The opening also does not establish a clear summary before moving between figures. Organise the response into a brief overview and a details paragraph, then group information by year or by Manhattan versus the other districts. Use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “population,” “percentage,” “districts,” and “fell sharply,” which helps convey the topic and a basic comparison. However, vocabulary is highly repetitive and several word forms or spellings make the meaning difficult to follow, for example “over population,” “manthaan,” “disteic,” and “fourty.” Some expressions are also unnatural, such as “increases day by day and year by year” and “the other districts … has been increases.” Choose precise Task 1 language such as “total population,” “population share,” “rose,” and “declined.” Check spelling carefully and avoid repeating the same noun and trend words; a wider, more accurate range would make the comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form connected sentences and make comparisons, but grammatical control is limited. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur repeatedly, as in “the other districts … has been increases” and “the over population … is increases.” Tense and sentence construction are also unclear in “the manthan has 60000 above people in 1800 but in1900 their population is fall.” Articles, plurals and punctuation are often missing, and the response relies mainly on long strings joined without clear sentence boundaries. These problems sometimes obscure the intended relationships between dates and figures. Practise writing short, complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, for example, “Manhattan’s population rose by 1900, then fell by 2000,” and use punctuation to separate each comparison.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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