Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the initial table illustrates the total population changes in New York between 1800 and 2000. Whereas, second and third tables represent the chnages in the population in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island. in the same year.

Overall, the population has rapidly increased, New York city reachd the highest figure in 2000. Amoung the Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island. Manhattan, population proportion had gradually decreased. While another district climbed sharply in the same period.

According to the first table, the population od five district of New York City jumbed drametically in 1800,1900 and 2000.

in 1800, the population recorded 79,216. and this figure rapidly rose to 3,437,202 in 1900. in comparsion in 2000, noted as highest population with 8,009,185.

Regarding second table, Manhattan population percentange gradually decreased in 1800 population nubmer was 60,515 with 76%, this proportion fell to 54 by increasing in population with 1,850,093. in 2000 the population in [redacted phone] with 19%

Furthermore, Other district Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island.the population recorded has 18701 with 24% and 1,587,109 with 46% Whereas 6,471,089 the percentage of total population is 81 % in the same year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main overall pattern: New York’s population grew substantially, while Manhattan’s share fell and the other districts’ share rose. You also report the key total-population figures and several district figures accurately, including Manhattan’s 1,850,093 in 1900 and the other districts’ 6,471,089 in 2000. However, some comparisons are incomplete or unclear: the 2000 Manhattan figure is given without its percentage, and the final sentence does not clearly connect each other-district figure to its year. The claim that the population “jumbed” in all three years is also imprecise, since the tables show values at three points rather than annual changes. A clearer overview and more precise comparisons would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs referring to the total population and district data. This helps the reader identify the broad topics. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because figures and comparisons are presented in a fragmented way. For example, “in 2000 the population in 1538096 with 19%” lacks a clear link to the preceding comparison, and the final sentence lists three figures without explicitly assigning each to a year. Connectors such as “Whereas,” “While” and “Furthermore” are sometimes used without a complete or clearly related clause. Organise the data by year or by Manhattan versus the other districts, and use linking phrases only where the relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “proportion,” “decreased,” “rose” and “highest figure,” so the main trends can be understood. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the report less clear, such as “chnages,” “Amoung,” “dramatically” misspelled as “drametically,” and “percentange.” Some word choices and collocations are also unsuitable: “jumbed” does not fit the formal description of population change, and “population recorded” is awkward. Use accurate, conventional terms such as “increased,” “accounted for,” and “stood at.” Check spelling carefully, and avoid repeating “population” where a more precise reference such as “share” or “figure” would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “Whereas…” and “by increasing in population,” but many sentences are incomplete or inaccurately formed, which sometimes makes the relationships between figures hard to understand. For instance, “Whereas, second and third tables represent…” is a fragment, and “in 1800, the population recorded 79,216. and this figure rapidly rose…” has faulty sentence boundaries. There are also recurring problems with articles, verb forms and sentence construction, as in “New York city reachd the highest figure” and “the population in 1538096 with 19%.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and practise structures such as “The population stood at X, accounting for Y%.” More consistent punctuation would also help.

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