Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The provided table illustrates the changes in the total population in the New York City between 1800 and 2000. Moreover, the second and third table present the population exchange in the five district of the city namely Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island in the same period. The number measure in the percentage.

Overall, it can be seen that highest proportion has 6,471,089 in 2000. and the lower percentage is the 60,515 in 1800. and others also fluctuated throughout period.

The highest figure in the population has 81% percent which is recorded in the 2000. and also In District Mandattan population increse in the 1900. Morever the other also exchanged in the five districts.

In the city overall, population is highest in the 2000 which is approximatily is [redacted phone] and after that in 1900 which is about [redacted phone] and in 1800 which is 79216 lowest change in the New York City.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad subject and include several figures, such as the city’s total population in 1800 and 2000 and the 81% share for the other districts in 2000. However, the overview is not accurate or clear: 6,471,089 is a population figure, not a proportion, and 60,515 is also a population figure rather than the “lower percentage.” The key pattern—that Manhattan’s population rose to a peak in 1900 and then fell, while the other districts grew substantially in both population and share—is not properly summarised. The claim that the figures “fluctuated” is too vague and does not reflect the overall trends. Select the main comparisons and report them accurately, distinguishing population totals from percentages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs and moves from an introduction to an overview and then to details, so there is an attempt to organise the information. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview mixes unrelated figures and the later paragraphs repeat the city’s total population without developing a clear comparison. Linking words such as “Moreover,” “Overall,” and “after that” are used, but they do not consistently show the relationship between ideas; for example, “Moreover the other also exchanged” is unclear. Group the information by the main trends—total city growth, then Manhattan compared with the other districts—and use clear references to connect each figure to its category.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “total population,” “proportion,” “percentage,” and “recorded,” which helps establish the topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the data difficult to interpret. “Population exchange” does not describe changes in population, while “the highest proportion has 6,471,089” confuses a percentage with a population count. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “increse,” “approximatily,” and “Mandattan.” Use precise terms consistently: distinguish “population” from “share,” and describe a figure as rising, falling, or accounting for a percentage. This would make the comparisons clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer structures, such as “The provided table illustrates…” and “Overall, it can be seen that…,” but most sentences rely on basic patterns and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include “the second and third table present,” where the plural subject needs a plural noun, and “the highest figure in the population has 81%,” which has an unclear grammatical relationship between the subject and verb. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also problematic, as in “in 2000. and the lower percentage…” Capitalisation is inconsistent, and several clauses lack a clear main structure. Practise writing complete, direct comparison sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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