Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates changes all population of New York City between 1800 to 2000, involving its districts.
Overall, it is evident that community boomed and five parts of population its also increased significantly.
Initially, as far as, New York is concerned that total individuals soared and compared Manhattan to other districts was insane. Although percentage of total population in Manhattan declined gradually, the number of Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island rose sharply and percentage of its also got higher.
Secondly, despite the fact that the main city of Manhattan's community was decreasing over time, It was consisting of 76 percent of total population of metropolis in 1800.In addition, in spite of the fact that other district' population was counted 18701 and 24 percent of total population, It modified over 200 years by 57 percent. Finally, the all individuals of New York City soared and boomed mostly in the early 21st century.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to provide a clear, accurate overview. While it mentions the general population growth, the specific data points are often confusing or inaccurate. For example, the statement that the population of other districts was 'counted 18701' is unclear and does not accurately reflect the provided tables. The comparison between Manhattan and other districts is attempted, but the lack of precise data reporting makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, you must select key data points (such as the total population in 1800 vs 2000) and describe the trends more precisely rather than using vague language like 'insane' or 'modified'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Initially, as far as, New York is concerned' and 'Secondly, despite the fact that'. These phrases do not effectively link the ideas or the data. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to determine which data points are being discussed. The transition between the general population and the district-specific data is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. Words like 'insane' are too informal for an IELTS Task 1 response. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'community boomed' and 'all individuals of New York City'. The phrasing 'It modified over 200 years' is imprecise and does not convey the intended meaning of population change. To reach a higher band, you should use more precise academic vocabulary related to statistics and trends, such as 'surged', 'fluctuated', 'proportion', and 'demographic shift', and avoid informal or overly emotive language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the all individuals'), subject-verb agreement ('other district' population'), and awkward sentence structures ('It was consisting of 76 percent'). The use of complex sentences is attempted, but they are often grammatically flawed, such as the sentence starting with 'In addition, in spite of the fact that...'. You should focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring correct subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex constructions. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect prepositions will also help improve your score.
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