Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates changes all population of New York City between 1800 to 2000, involving its districts.
Overall, it is evident that community boomed and five parts of population its also increased significantly.
Initially, as far as, New York is concerned that total individuals soared and compared Manhattan to other districts was insane. Although percentage of total population in Manhattan declined gradually, the number of Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island rose sharply and percentage of its also got higher.
Secondly, despite the fact that the main city of Manhattan's community was decreasing over time, It was consisting of 76 percent of total population of metropolis in 1800.In addition, in spite of the fact that other district' population was counted 18701 and 24 percent of total population, It modified over 200 years by 57 percent. Finally, the all individuals of New York City soared and boomed mostly in the early 21st century.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to provide a clear, accurate overview. While it identifies that the population increased, the description of the trends is confusing and lacks precision. The student mentions Manhattan's decline and the growth of other districts, but the data points provided (e.g., '18701') are unclear and do not accurately reflect the provided tables. The analysis is hindered by a lack of specific data comparison, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the main features of the population shifts over the two-century period. To improve, focus on clearly identifying the starting and ending figures and highlighting the most significant changes rather than using vague descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Initially, as far as, New York is concerned' and 'Secondly, despite the fact that'. These transitions do not effectively link ideas or guide the reader through the data. Referencing is also problematic, with unclear pronoun usage (e.g., 'its also got higher'). The overall structure feels disjointed, and the lack of clear logical flow between the introduction, body, and conclusion makes the response difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. Phrases like 'community boomed', 'was insane', and 'all individuals' are not suitable for a formal task. There is also a lack of precision in describing statistical trends; for example, 'modified over 200 years' is vague and does not accurately describe population growth. The student struggles with word choice and collocation, leading to awkward phrasing throughout the text. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using precise, academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'significant increase', 'proportion', 'fluctuated', or 'accounted for'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as 'The bar chart illustrates changes all population of New York City between 1800 to 2000', which lacks necessary prepositions and articles. Subject-verb agreement and word order are also inconsistent (e.g., 'other district' population was counted 18701'). The attempt at complex sentences is often faulty, leading to confusion. While the student attempts to use a variety of structures, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation limits the score. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors would be beneficial.
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