Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The total population of New York City changing from 1800 to 2000 is given in the first table, while the population changes of the five districts-Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Islands- over the same two-century period are outlined in the second and third tables.
Overall, while the city thrived the district Manhattan that used to have the most percentage of the population has fallen and the other districts grew considerably.
Firstly, century after the first head count was taken the Manhattan district that was thriving experienced lose of percentages that was 22%. Opposite that the other four gained more residents the same percentage that the Manhattan have loosen over the time.
In the last century the four districts-Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island- that once were rural has become a busy suburban district, that in the two thousands was the 81% of the whole population of New York City. However, the left over district gradual decline in its population by [redacted phone] people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response attempts to summarise the data, but it fails to accurately report the figures provided in the tables. For instance, you mention a '300,000' decline for Manhattan, which is not supported by the data, and the percentages cited are unclear or inaccurate. While you identify the main trend—the shift in population from Manhattan to the other districts—the lack of precision in reporting the data significantly impacts the task achievement. To improve, ensure you carefully extract and compare specific figures from the tables rather than making general statements that do not align with the provided statistics. The overview is present but lacks the necessary detail to fully satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Opposite that' and 'the left over district'. These transitions do not always create a smooth flow between ideas. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes confusing, particularly when discussing the districts. While there is a logical attempt to group the information, the progression of ideas is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of variety in linking words. Improving the use of cohesive devices and ensuring clear paragraph transitions will help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, with several instances of word-choice errors that impede clarity. For example, you use 'lose of percentages' instead of 'loss of percentage' and 'loosen' instead of 'lost'. Phrases like 'the left over district' are not appropriate for an academic report. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'head count' and 'suburban', the overall range is restricted. To achieve a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms (e.g., noun vs. verb) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the district Manhattan... have fallen'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often faulty, such as 'the Manhattan district that was thriving experienced lose of percentages that was 22%'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of hyphens and commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and article usage.
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