Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart illustrates changes all population of New York City between 1800 to 2000, involving its districts.
Overall, it is evident that community boomed and five parts of population its also increased significantly.
Initially, as far as, New York is concerned that total individuals soared and compared Manhattan to other districts was insane. Although percentage of total population in Manhattan declined gradually, the number of Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island rose sharply and percentage of its also got higher.
Secondly, despite the fact that the main city of Manhattan's community was decreasing over time, It was consisting of 76 percent of total population of metropolis in 1800.In addition, in spite of the fact that other district' population was counted 18701 and 24 percent of total population, It modified over 200 years by 57 percent. Finally, the all individuals of New York City soared and boomed mostly in the early 21st century.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the data, such as the overall population growth and the shift in the proportion of residents living in Manhattan versus the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The student mentions that the population 'soared' but fails to provide specific data points from the tables to support these claims, such as the total population figures for 1800 or 2000. The mention of '18701' is unclear and lacks context. To reach a higher band, the student needs to select and highlight key data points more effectively to illustrate the trends described, rather than relying on vague descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Initially, as far as, New York is concerned' and 'Secondly, despite the fact that' do not flow naturally and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. The logical progression between sentences is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the historical data and the general trend is abrupt. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the clarity of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic verbs like 'increased', 'soared', and 'boomed' multiple times. There are also instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'community boomed' instead of 'population grew' and 'the all individuals' instead of 'the total population'. The phrase 'compared Manhattan to other districts was insane' is highly informal and inappropriate for an academic task. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to data description, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuation', or 'significant growth'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage ('the all individuals'), subject-verb agreement ('other district' population'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are clunky or grammatically incomplete, such as 'the number of Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island rose sharply and percentage of its also got higher.' While the student attempts some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and preposition usage would be beneficial.
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