Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The table the illustrates the changes in population of New York City; the other two tables also reflects the population of 5 districts suburbs regions of the in the same period between 1800 to 2000.
The population of New York City has shown a significant increase in population rate with the highest in the year 2000 of 8,009,185 in total.
In Manhattan in the year 2000 there has been a decrease by 19%, while the other districts in the same year showed a tremendous increase of 81%. While as in the year 1800 there has been a drastic increase in Manhattan's population of 76% while as other districts just 24%. The Year of 1900 there has just been an increase of 8% when compared between Manhattan and other districts.
In year 2000 the total population in New York has been including all five districts is a little more than 8 million. The population of other districts in the year 2000 has increased 5 times more when compared to Manhattan.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to clearly report the main features. While it identifies the total population growth, the analysis of the five districts is confusing and mathematically inaccurate based on the provided tables. For example, the claim that Manhattan saw a 19% decrease in 2000 is not supported by the data, and the comparison between Manhattan and the 'other districts' is poorly explained. The response lacks a clear overview and fails to highlight the significant shift in population distribution from Manhattan to the outer boroughs over the two centuries. The information is presented in a fragmented way, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into short paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as the repetitive use of 'while as' and 'in the year'. Referencing is often unclear, particularly when distinguishing between Manhattan and the 'other districts'. The transition between the general population data and the district-specific data is abrupt. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, moving from the general overview to specific, well-supported comparisons.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases such as 'significant increase', 'drastic increase', and 'tremendous increase' are used without much variation or precision. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'population rate' instead of 'population size' and '5 districts suburbs regions' which is redundant and confusing. The student relies on basic descriptors and struggles to use more academic or precise terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'accounted for'. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning to use collocations correctly will significantly improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the table the illustrates', 'other two tables also reflects'), incorrect preposition use, and awkward sentence structures. The attempt at complex sentences is often faulty, leading to run-on sentences or fragments. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that complex sentences are formed using correct conjunctions and relative clauses.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.