Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The tabular representations depict the information pertaining to population of new york city in 1800 and 2000.Second and third tables show changes in the population of five districts of the city.
Overall,it is succinct that the dominant population was attain by other districts and least can be noted in later year.
At the fleeting glance,it can be seen that the total population of new york city in 1800 is 79,216,increased in 1900 to 3,437,202.In 2000 New york comprised of 8,009,185 population.Manhattan accounted to 76% total population in 1800 and inclined to 54% in 1900 before decline in 2000 to 19%.
Moving towards the rest of information,Other districts amounted for 24% population in 1800 as 18,701 population.In 1900 other districts total percentage is 46% in numbers is 1,587,109.Other districts comprised of 81% in 2000 with 6,471,089 population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have presented data for 1800, 1900, and 2000, but the overview is vague and lacks a clear summary of the most significant changes. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed comparison between the districts rather than just listing percentages. The response is currently under-developed, and the failure to reach the word count necessitates a lower band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is often mechanical. Phrases like 'Moving towards the rest of information' are unnatural and do not effectively transition between ideas. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as the awkward phrasing in the overview. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and basic. You rely heavily on simple verbs like 'show' and 'comprised'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'dominant population was attain by' and 'at the fleeting glance'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your report. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', or 'accounted for a significant proportion'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with article usage ('the population of new york city'), subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. For example, 'Manhattan accounted to 76%... and inclined to 54%' contains incorrect prepositions and awkward verb choices. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.
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