Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period. In 1800 all five districts of new york contain a small population comparing to 2000 because it was 79216 and it increased in 1900 and there were [redacted phone] people and this ratio keeps increasing and reached [redacted phone] in 2000.
In the second table in manhattan district population was 60515 which made a 76% of overall population in 1800 and in the other districts this percentage was about 24%. After this the population increased but the overall percentage starts decreasing and it was [redacted phone] people securing 54% but in other places it was about 46% having [redacted phone] people in 1900.
in the last year 2000 the manhattan's population was about [redacted phone] securing 19% of overall and remaining all districts' population was [redacted phone] by securing the 81% of overall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main trends in the total population and the shift in distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you correctly identify the growth in total population and the declining percentage share of Manhattan, you fail to mention the specific trends of the other districts or provide a more nuanced comparison between the time periods. The data is presented in a list-like fashion rather than being synthesised into a clear overview. To improve, ensure you highlight the most significant changes and group the data more effectively to show the contrast between the early 19th century and the end of the 20th century.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for this task. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'After this' and 'in the last year' are used to transition between ideas, but the flow between sentences is often choppy. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the 'remaining all districts'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would help the progression of ideas feel more natural and professional.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'shows', 'increased', and 'reached'. There is also a lack of variety in how you describe statistical changes. Phrases like 'securing the 81% of overall' are slightly unnatural in an academic context. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'experienced a surge', 'accounted for', or 'a significant shift in demographic distribution'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'comparing to 2000' should be 'compared to 2000', and 'it was 79216' lacks a clear subject. There are also issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as 'new york' and 'manhattan' not being capitalized. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.
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