Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given table demonstrate the different in total natives of the new york between year 1800 and 2000, the next two tables deplict the changes in the citizens of the total five different cities involves Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx,Queens, State Island during the period.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that, the highest proportion of natives was recorded in year 2000 with the total 8,009,185 citizens,while the lowest proportion of the natives was recorded in year 1800.
To beginning with, it can be simply said that, the proportion of Manhattan city in year 1800 was recorded a 1,[redacted phone] natives with 54%, whereas the only 19% of the natives was recorded in year 2000.
To addition, the highest proportion of othe cities including Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island was the total number of [redacted phone] was recorded with 46% , whilst the lowest proportion of the natives in year 1800 was recorded 18701 with the 24%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student provides a general overview of the tables, which is in line with the task requirements. However, they fail to accurately report some specific data and make clear comparisons. For instance, the claim that "the highest proportion of natives was recorded in year 2000" lacks precise figures specifically for the districts. The inaccuracies and unclear data reporting affect the overall quality of the response. Overall, this indicates a partially successful attempt at addressing the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The coherence and cohesion of the response are weak. The ideas are not well-organized, and the transitions between them are abrupt. Phrases like "To beginning with" are grammatically incorrect and disrupt the flow. Additionally, the response lacks adequate linking words that would help in connecting ideas, which makes the progression of information difficult to follow. Overall, the response reads somewhat disjointed, which negatively impacts its clarity.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The lexical resource demonstrated in this response shows some variety, yet some word choices are either too simplistic or incorrect. Terms like "demonstrate" and "depict" are misused or incorrectly formed, and the use of "natives" can be misleading in this context when referring to population. Improving vocabulary range and precision would enhance the overall effectiveness. The errors distract from the intended message but do not completely hinder understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The grammatical range and accuracy of the writing reflect significant weaknesses. Several sentences contain grammatical errors, such as "demonstrate the different in total natives" which should be "demonstrates the difference in the total population". Other issues include incorrect article usage and punctuation errors. These problems reduce the overall grammatical accuracy, which reflects a limited capability to construct complex sentences correctly.
Overall feedback
The student has made an attempt to summarize the information presented in the tables; however, there are significant areas for improvement. Focus on accurately reporting data and making clear comparisons, as this is vital for Task Achievement. Coherence can be enhanced by organizing ideas better and using linking devices effectively. Pay more attention to grammatical accuracy and more precise vocabulary terms to elevate your writing. This will improve clarity and precision in your reporting. Additionally, reviewing and practicing more complex sentence structures could enhance your grammatical range.
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