Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The tables show the changes in population of New York city from 1800 to 2000. They also compare the population of Manhattan with other four districts during the same time line.
Overall, the total population of New York City have inclined massively from 79,216 in 1800 year to 8,009,185 in 2000 year.
However, the Manhattans shoe of population declined, while other four districts have shown great population ratio.
In year 1800,New York city had a population of 79,216 people. This value is significantly increased to 3,437,202 in year 1900 and last count reached to 8,009,185 in year 2000.
Manhattan had the 60,515 in 1800, making it to 76% total city population. Its population rose to 1,850,093 in 1900, but sharply fallen to 1,538,096 in year 2000 counting to 19% of toal population.
In contrast, the other four districts like Bronx, Queens, Staten Island, Brooklyn had only 18,701 people and their population have grown to uptown 46% making it 1,587,109 people in year 1900 and 81% making it 6,471,089 in year 2000 by the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response adequately addresses the task by summarizing the population changes in New York City over the specified period, and it presents comparisons between Manhattan and the other districts. However, it lacks clarity in its overall trends presentation and could better encapsulate key features and relevant details. For example, the summary of the population of districts could be more distinct and precise, rather than vague references like 'great population ratio.' Overall, some relevant details are presented, but organization could be improved.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The coherence and cohesion of the response are somewhat effective, but there are issues with clarity and logical flow. The use of linking phrases, such as 'overall' and 'in contrast,' helps guide the reader; however, the abrupt transitions between sentences and paragraphs make it less cohesive. Additionally, the population increase is abruptly stated without smooth transitions to the implications of these changes among the districts. More structured paragraphs could improve clarity.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The lexical resource demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary and attempts to use some terms relevant to population statistics (e.g., 'declined,' 'significantly increased'). However, there are several instances of imprecise word choices, such as 'inclined massively' which could be better expressed as 'increased significantly.' More variety in vocabulary could enhance the analysis (e.g., using 'soared' or 'skyrocketed' instead of repetitive phrases). The use of percentages and numerical data needs clearer expression to enhance clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy are areas in need of improvement. There are numerous grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('the total population... have inclined') and awkward phrases ('Manhattans shoe of population declined'). Additionally, the dates and structures used in sentences ('in year 1800, New York city had...') are awkward and sometimes repetitive. Attention to sentence variety, correct forms, and punctuation will improve overall clarity.
Overall feedback
Your response effectively addresses the task by providing an overview of population changes and comparisons; however, there are several areas that require improvement. First, ensure you use precise language and clear sentence structures to enhance readability. Additionally, work on organizing your information into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences to improve coherence. Lastly, focus on expanding your vocabulary to replace some weaker word choices, which will allow your analysis to be more impactful. Concentrate on grammar accuracy to prevent distracting errors that could interfere with communication.
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