Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
An increase in population of New York city from year 1800 to 2000 has a bigger impact on economic growth. Moreover, it can impact the employment ratio and GDP.
As per the five districts of the New York City, the population growth is different. Manhattan and other districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) population has increased by 19% and 81% respectively in 2000.
Empirical evidence received by the numbers of population increased demonstrate a significant impact. Total of all five districts population increased by 8,009,185 in 2000 and if we see in depth district wise, the four districts i.e. Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island population is merged and shows a single figure of 6,471,089 in year 2000. Additionally, the population was 18,701 in year 1800 which shows a substantial increase.
In contrast with Manhattan, the population as per number is 1,538,096 in 2000 and were 60,515 only in year 1800.
To conclude, other districts shows a significant increase as comapre to manhattan.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to adequately summarize the provided data. You have included irrelevant commentary about economic growth, employment ratios, and GDP, which are not present in the source tables. Furthermore, the data interpretation is inaccurate; for instance, you mention a 19% and 81% increase, which does not align with the provided figures. The task requires a clear overview and a comparison of the population trends across the five districts over the two-century period. You have focused too much on specific numbers without synthesizing the overall trends or highlighting the most significant changes effectively. To improve, focus strictly on the data provided and identify the main features, such as the total population growth and the shift in distribution between Manhattan and the other four districts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical (e.g., 'Additionally', 'In contrast with'). The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the 'four districts' as a merged group, which makes the comparison difficult to follow. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main trends but rather repeats a specific comparison. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the flow of information.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'increase', 'numbers', and 'shows'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Empirical evidence received by the numbers' and 'as comapre to manhattan'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'surged', 'experienced a steady rise', 'accounted for', or 'a significant disparity'. Spelling errors, such as 'comapre', also detract from the overall quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('other districts shows') and awkward phrasing ('the population as per number is 1,538,096'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction is often clunky. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement. Reducing the number of errors in complex sentences will help you achieve a higher score.
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