Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

THE FIRST TABULAR DATA ELUCIDATES THE DETAILS FROM THE 1800 TO 2000 REGARDING TOTAL POPULATION OF NEW YORK CITY. MOREOVER OTHER TWO TABULAR DATA GIVE INFORMATION REGARDING FIVE DISTRICT OF CITIES CHANGE THEIR POPULATION.

FROM AN OVERALL PERSPECTIVE, POPULATION RATIO INCLINED THROUGHOUT THE GIVEN YEAR MOREOVER SAME TREND OBSERVED FOR OTHER DISTRICTS. HOWEVER THE PERCENTAGE OF POPULATION DECLINED IN MANHATTAN.

TO BEGIN WITH,IN THE YEAR 1800, 79,216 POPULATION WAS OBSERVED IN NEW YORK.WHERE IT WAS ROSE THROUGHOUT THE YEAR AND REACH 8,009,185 POPULATION IN 2000

FURTHERMORE TOTAL 76% OF TOTAL POPULATION WAS NOTICED IN MANHATTAN WHICH WAS 60,515 IN 1800.WHERE OTHER DISTRICT OBSERVE TO BE 24% WHICH WAS 18,701.BESIDES 1,850,096 POPULATION WITHNECED IN 1900 IN MANHATTAN WHEN 1,587,096 IN OTHER DISTRICT. MOREOVER HUGE DIFFERENCE WAS NOTICED IN MANHATTAN AND OTHER DISTRICT IN 2000 WHERE FORMAR ONE DROP AND ACCOUNTED 1,538,096 WHICH 19% OF TOTAL POPULATION AND LATTER ONE INCLIDEN AND NOTICED TO BE 6,471,089 WHICH IS 81% OF TOTAL POPULATION.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers the main features of the data, including the overall growth of the total population and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat limited. While you identify the key trends, the report lacks a detailed breakdown of the individual districts (Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) as requested by the prompt, grouping them instead as 'other districts'. To reach a higher band, ensure you explicitly mention the specific data points for the other districts rather than generalizing them. The overview is present but could be more clearly integrated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'However', and 'To begin with'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the repetitive use of 'Moreover' and 'Where'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the 'other districts'. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'huge difference', 'observed', and 'noticed'. There are also some issues with word choice and spelling, such as 'formar' (former), 'latter' (latter), 'incliden' (inclined), and 'withneced' (witnessed). To improve, try to use more precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'accounted for', or 'proportionally'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('it was rose'), missing articles ('in year 1800'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('other district observe'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing spaces after commas. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency will significantly improve your score.

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