Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
All three table illustrates changes in the total population of New York city from 1800 to 2000 as well as changes in five districts.
Overall, five districts had a low number of population rather then Manhattan. As per this table graph we can say Manhattan had a 50% population of NYC.
On the first hand, city had the highest number in the year of 2000 and that was 8,009,185. Moreover, in the same year Manhattan had a 19%(1,538,096) of population and other five had a 81%(6,471,089) of population in the year of 2000. In the year of 1900 overall city's total population was 3,437,202 among them Manhattan had a 54%(1,850,093) and other five had a 46%(1,587,109).
However, in the year of 1800 had a lowest number of population and that was a 79,216. Among it Manhattan had a 76%(60,515) of population on the other side other five districts had a only 24%(18,701) population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, such as the total population growth and the shifting proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have presented the data points accurately, but the comparison between the districts is limited. For instance, you mention that Manhattan had 50% of the population, but the data shows a more complex trend of Manhattan's share declining significantly over the two centuries. To reach a higher band, you should provide a more analytical overview that highlights the contrast between the rapid growth of the outer districts compared to the relative stability or decline in Manhattan's proportional share.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the first hand' are used incorrectly, as there is no corresponding 'on the other hand' to balance the argument. Additionally, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While the logical progression is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive sentence structure make the flow feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would significantly enhance the readability of your report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher score. You rely on basic terms like 'number' and 'population' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'low number of population' instead of 'smaller population' or 'lower population density'. The use of 'as per this table graph' is also slightly unnatural in an academic context. To improve, try to incorporate more varied vocabulary related to trends and statistics, such as 'proportion', 'accounted for', 'experienced a decline', or 'significant growth'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'All three table illustrates' (subject-verb agreement), 'had a lowest number' (article usage), and 'other five had a only 24%' (redundant article). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and there is a lack of complex grammatical forms. While you attempt to use percentages and data, the phrasing is often clunky. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to describe the data more fluidly.
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