Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The table chart shows the changes in the total population of new York city from 1800 to 2000.While the second and third table trend depects changes in the perpotion of the five districs of the cities such as Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island over the same period.
Overall,it can be seen that,New York city had highest population in 2000 amd lowest population in 1800.While,Manhattan and others districts had remained same percentage in 1900 compared between 1800 and 2000.
To begin with,New York city had population accounted [redacted phone] in 2000.In 1800 and 19000 had population around 79216 and [redacted phone] in New York city.
One the other hand,Manhattan districts had total population at 60515 in 1800 and respectively 76%.1900 and 2000 had approximetly [redacted phone] and [redacted phone] and 54% and 19% over the same period.Accordingly,Others districts had lowest population at 18701 around 24%,While In 2000,the number of population had highest at [redacted phone] and total percentage of 81%.Finaly,In 1900,accounted at [redacted phone] and 46% in others districts.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to clearly present the main trends. While it mentions the total population and the five districts, the reporting of figures is often inaccurate or confusingly presented (e.g., '19000' for 1900). The comparison between the total population and the percentage distribution of districts is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the key changes over the two centuries. The overview is weak and does not effectively highlight the significant growth patterns or the shift in population distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. More careful selection and grouping of data are required to meet the requirements of a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand', but they are often applied incorrectly or in a way that does not enhance the flow of information. For instance, the transition between the total population and the district-specific data is abrupt. The use of punctuation, particularly with decimals and sentence structure, creates a fragmented reading experience. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly improve the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'depects' instead of 'depicts', 'perpotion' for 'proportion', and 'districs' for 'districts'. The student struggles to use precise terminology to describe statistical trends, relying on basic phrasing like 'had highest population' or 'accounted 8009185'. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary to include more sophisticated terms for describing data, such as 'experienced a significant increase', 'constituted', or 'accounted for', and pay closer attention to spelling and accurate word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'New York city had population accounted 8009185' is grammatically incorrect. The use of punctuation is also problematic, with spaces missing after commas and periods, and incorrect decimal formatting (e.g., '76%.1900'). While the student attempts to use some complex structures, they are often faulty. A focus on mastering basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses, and standard punctuation is essential before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
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