Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

According to the first table the whole population of the New York was in the year 1800 was 79216 which was gradually increase to [redacted phone] in the year 1900. And then in 2000 it was increase to [redacted phone]. these numbers was for the all five districts including Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queen and Staten island.

Manhattan was the biggest District according to population in the year 1800. which had 76% of the population and in numbers was 60515 of the whole New York city. an the other remaining four districts had only 24% of the total. in the year 1800 and there number was 18701.then in the year 1900 the population decrease to 54% and total population was [redacted phone] of Manhattan city but still was a biggest. while the populations of other districts was raise to 46% of the total of New York and the population was [redacted phone].

But in the year 2000 things became different, the Manhattan rapid decreases its population. people moved to other districts and its population decreased to [redacted phone] and 19% of the total while the other districts had total population was 81% and [redacted phone] in numbers

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main trends in the data, identifying the overall population growth and the shift in distribution between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the percentages and raw numbers, you do not fully synthesize the data or highlight the most significant comparisons effectively. For instance, the transition from Manhattan being the dominant district to it becoming a minority share is noted, but the specific growth patterns of the other districts are under-developed. To improve, ensure you group data logically and focus on the most striking changes rather than listing every figure, which can make the report feel like a data dump.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of time. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For example, starting sentences with 'And then' or 'But in the year 2000' is quite informal and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There is also a lack of variety in linking words, which makes the flow feel repetitive. To improve, use a wider range of transition signals such as 'consequently,' 'in contrast,' or 'subsequently' to better connect your ideas and improve the logical flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate to convey the basic information, but it is limited and repetitive. You frequently use 'population' and 'districts' without much variation. There are also errors in word choice and form, such as 'the whole population of the New York was' (should be 'the total population of New York') and 'was a biggest' (should be 'was the largest'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary, such as 'proportion,' 'demographic shift,' 'significant increase,' or 'accounted for,' rather than relying on simple verbs like 'was' or 'had'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('these numbers was'), incorrect verb tenses ('was increase' instead of 'increased'), and missing articles ('in the year 1800' vs 'in 1800'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice, which is essential for describing data. Additionally, try to combine simple sentences into more complex ones using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.

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