Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The tables illustrate the proportion of the changes in the allover population of the New york city all five district-Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island from 1800 to 2000.
To being with, all five districts in new york city 79,216 population in year 1800, It was a lowest Numbers of Population in this year. While, shlightly increased in 1900 year , it is a 3,437,202 population in new york city. Meanwhile, in 2000 new york city has highest population retharthan last two year data, It was 8,009,185. Moreover, the data of Manhattan districts population highest in year 2000 was 1,538,096 but only 19% of total population in this city. however, in 1900 and 1800 year population is 1,850,093 and 60,515; the total population was 54% ad 76%, respactivily.
Furthermore, other four districts Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island population as per percentage of total population was lowest retharthan Manhattan. While, in 2000, 6,471,089 population as per 81% of total population. conversly, in 1900 and 1800 year population has 46% and 24 % of total population 1,587,109 and 60,515.
Overall, new york city's population rose significantly. While, Manhattan's share declined and the other four districts became the majority of the population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends, such as the overall population growth and the shift in proportions between Manhattan and the other districts. However, the presentation of data is often confusing and inaccurate. For instance, the statement that 1800 had the 'lowest numbers of population' is redundant, and the figures provided for 1900 and 1800 are inconsistently cited. The analysis of the percentages is also problematic, as the calculations and comparisons are difficult to follow. To improve, ensure that data points are clearly linked to the correct years and categories, and avoid repeating information that does not add value to the summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the misuse of 'To being with' and 'conversly'. The logical progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing, making it difficult to track the comparison between the years and the districts. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used appropriately to connect ideas smoothly. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition signals will help the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'allover' instead of 'overall', 'retharthan' (which appears to be a non-existent term), and 'respactivily' for 'respectively'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe the data with precision, relying on basic descriptors. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'experienced a surge', 'accounted for', or 'a downward trend', and ensure correct spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'It was a lowest Numbers of Population' is grammatically incorrect, and many sentences lack proper structure, such as 'While, in 2000, 6,471,089 population as per 81% of total population.' These errors are frequent and sometimes make the meaning difficult to grasp. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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